A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:okay, this is a tough one. i'm really falling for this girl. we've known each other almost a year now. i've had a thing for her for as long as i can remember, then a little over two months ago, she told me she returned my feelings. until this point, she had said she was straight, but apparently i'm "just different." we're getting pretty close and feel like we can tell each other everything. there is an age gap, however. i'm 21 and she's 16, will be 17 in september. it's about a five year age gap between us, but we get along fine. her dad is an alcoholic, and blames me for all the trouble he's been having with her, saying that he'd "have no problem with it" if we were closer in age. and this is very new to me. i've never dated or even been attracted to someone this much younger than me. her aunt is saying that our relationship is illegal, that she isn't of consenting age. (as though we're having sex, and there's no evidence that we've done anything other than kiss) i found a website that says that the North Carolina age of consent is 16 for both males and females and that in homosexual situations the law is invalidated (being that the state doesn't have a set law for homosexual acts if we were having sex.) i'm afraid that the love letters her dad found may be used against me to accuse me of sleeping with his daughter even though there is nothing in the letters other than me saying that we kissed and that i loved her. what should i do? i'm so scared. we're trying to get her emancipated but her dad's making it difficult. please help....
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2008): i was in the same type of relationship, lost my husban of 13yrs..she didn't want her family to know, mine found out disowned me although we were happy together it still doesn't work!! you will always have issues, and cant change how the family feels.. if you really love her let her go if its meant to be it will happen later in life.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (2 July 2008):
I think Purple has the right idea.
I think that rather than fighting and fighting with her whole family, you should just back off. Bide your time, wait a year and then BAM, there is nothing they can do.
This probably is more about her sexuality than you. Her father wouldn't care if it was a girl her own age because then it would probably just be a phase. I'm sure her own family would prefer it if she found a nice boy and gave them grand kids.
Their problem is that they can tell, with you, that it's serious.
Use poison not a sledge hammer to win this battle. Take your time and then you can be together.
Good Luck!! xx
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