A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a problem. I'm in love with two men. I'm married to john and have two beautiful boys. We've been married almost a year, and have been together for 5. I have been really unhappy lately, and when I try to talk to him about it, he doesn't seem to care. He kisses me and says everything will be okay, and then that's the end of it. On the other hand, I have my best friend, Adam. Adam and I have been best friends for a lil over 5 years. We are great together. Everyone says that when we are in a room together, they can see the spark. I love him to bits, and want to be with him, but don't want to hurt John. Adam and I have shared our feelings, and we both feel the same. We both know that nothing can happen tho while i'm still with John. I can't stop thinking about Adam. I have loved him from the start. Only started dating John cause I thought Adam wasn't into me, which turned out to be wrong. I love John, but so badly want to be with Adam. I've told him that we shouldn't hang out anymore, and have some distance, this way john and I can sort out or marriage. But it just makes me want Adam more. What do i do?? I'm really confused. HELP!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2007): You need to stay away from Adam, give your marriage 100% and get it back on track. If it isnt going to go that way then end your marriage and spend some time on your own. Clear you head and if in a couple of years time you still want to give it a go with Adam then go for it. Dont leave your husband and go into a relationship with Adam, your head just wont be right and it cannot work. I personally think you need to turn your back on Adam and sort out what you have, not what you might have. Remember, the grass is not always greener on the other side of the fence.
take care
xx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2007): hey .. i think you have just switched a light bulb on on my head. i feel that i will have the same story as yours in another 2 years time. i tottally under stand what you are going through, although im not married (yet) ... i wish i was with my 'adam' my best friend as well, but he seems to be busy flirting with other girls, which he loves to tell me about, however when me n 'adam' are together, like wise, we have a spark, its like were on fire, lol people love being around us, and im always smiling when hes by my side, but then i have my 'john' whos best buddies wid 'adam'..johns amazing, ive bin with him for four years, been through loads of ups and downs, i like being with him, but theres always adam in the back of my head. maybe we want what we cant have? if i am in your shoes in 2 years time, i would tell my self this, 'there is a reason for why i married john, and he is the father of my lovley babies, i chose to make this life time commitment, and for this reason i will commit myself' just try so hard to work it out, you have a family, why leave it jus for that spark..which never led to anything years back..why would it be so good now? xx god bless
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A
male
reader, Tommy7  +, writes (14 October 2007):
Adam is a friend. Be faithful to your husband and make sure he knows about Adam. Don't get sexually involved with Adam.
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A
male
reader, dapone 1  +, writes (14 October 2007):
 hi
i am sorry to say this but it seem like your marriage is in a mess,you are only considering your own feelings and not thinking about your husband and children,after five years of marriage one of the partners some times feels that the grass will be greener on the other side,(an old saying)but what you will find is if you leave your husband after the excitement and newness wares off you will be in the same position again,plus all the hart ache you will course to your husband and children,because your feeling are so high for Adam you are in fact cheating on your husband and kids,my advise to you is sit your husband down tell him not to interrupt you, then get your problems off your chest, if he say every thing will be alright then tell him it wont, not until you have sorted your problems out, make him listen to you,i would sort the problems out first before you make a rash decision and destroy john and your children lives, if you do not try to save your marriage first you will have to live with the gilt for a long time, and in turn that will destroy any relationship you may have with Adam,stay away from Adam until you have sorted your own problems first.
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