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male
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*jadam
writes: Hi I am in my late 20s and am still a virgin. I have been able to control myself till now as i neither had any girlfriend nor any great desire to lose virginity before marriage..It is getting difficult day by day and staying in Amsterdam (Sex capital of the world) doesnt help either. Should i lose my virginity or stay so till i get married. Please help!
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female
reader, bonym  +, writes (23 August 2006):
 Great advice from the others, I agree with Hannieseds,dont just throw away everything that you believe in just cos you may be faced with temptation. I am a Christian, and believe me I get tempted all the time, but if you have the will power and strength you can oevercome any temptation you want. I have messed up in the past, of course, I am human, but dont just lose your virginity for the sake of it ok mate? xXx
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male
reader, Yos  +, writes (23 August 2006):
 Just avoid the red light district. You might be keener not to go there if I tell you that most girls there are not working strictly speaking 'from free will', but are from Eastern Europe and thought they would be doing something entirely different in Holland. The whole setup is run by the Mafia and not as wholesome and above board as some people make out.
Do you feel like having sex with a girl who is trapped there with her passport being held ransome and a huge debt (not of her own doing) to pay off?
The funny thing is, Amsterdam and the Dutch are generally sexually conservative, particularly when compared to the British and Americans. The image is a myth. Holland has amongst the lowest rate of teenage pregnancy, STDs and other high risk sexual activity in the World. The Dutch also take very few drugs! I live in Amsterdam by the way ;)
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2006): The last thing you want to do is use a prostitute in the red-light district of Amsterdam! I don't think their "cum once" policy would work very well for a innocent and pure virgin such as yourself, haha. I have some funny stories of a couple of my friends who visited prostitutes when we went out there.
Trust me, if you want to use a prostitute look for one that offers a "girlfriend experience". They kiss, hug you and treat you nice and gentle. haha.
Dude though - would it not turn you off that you are sleeping with someone whos slept with more men than you've had hot dinners?
Save your virginity for someone you love and trust.
Loosing your virginity as a man can be an embarrassing time. so, don't do it!!! If you want to rebel from your tame youth abuse the coffee shops, but don't be having sex with prostitutes, ok? ;)
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female
reader, camille +, writes (23 August 2006):
 There's women everywhere. Temptation everywhere, don't blame Amsterdam! Prostitution is legal there so does that mean you're thinking of visiting a prostitute to lose your virginity? I think that'd be a shame as if you're wanting to wait, I can see it being a great regret of you do. If you are having sexual urges, you don't need someone with you to relieve those urges, but I'm wondering why where you live is making it more difficult? I work for an Amsterdam company and have been many times. Their sex industry is very sleazy but also very contained, so just avoid the red light district.....
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A
female
reader, hannieseds  +, writes (23 August 2006):
 Hey there,
Think of it this way. You have held out for almost 30 years of your life for the right woman. You have sustained your obviously important belief this long, so to 'throw it away' on someone meaningless in Amsterdam would see like such a waste of your efforts. Are you meaning to visit a prostitute - is that what is tempting you?
Of course, go ahead and do it but ask yourself this: do you think you will regret it as soon as the deed is done? Do you think you will wish it back?
You have saved yourself for this long, so if you do give in now, do you think, come your wedding night, all you will be thinking about is the floozey you gave your precious gift to?
I am not a religious person and commend you for sticking to your belief for so long, but I really think you will regret it for the rest of your life if your throw it away now on someone you don't love.
It takes a VERY strong and committed person in this world of boobs on bikes and easy sex to hold out for marriage, so I really do admire you.
Just don't do it if you think you will regret it later on when you are married. xxx
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