A
female
 ,
*__hikari
writes:I'm in a very sticky situation. I just recently decided to tell my friends that I was bisexual. I always had a feeling that I was, but I didn't want to tell them till I was completely sure.The first person I told was my very good guy friend- who's also bi. He didn't mind too much- he actually thought it was pretty hot. I used to really like this guy- much more than I liked anyone ever before, but I forced myself to go off him when he didn't feel the same way. We still stayed friends though.Now, a few days ago I decided to tell my good girl friend- who I only see as a friend. I didn't really know how to say it, because I didn't know how she'd react, so I was stuttering a lot and getting all confused. I said we're very good friends and we've known each other a long time..but then she finished my sentence. But! Get this- she got the wrong idea. She said, "I like you too."I was so gobsmacked, I didn't say anything.I haven't spoken to her much since then and I feel bad. I didn't even tell her that I was bi.I don't know how to sort it out with her, cause I don't want to hurt her. Also, my other guy friend has been paying a lot of attention to me these days again, and I'm beginning to like him again- but I'm not sure I should say anything to him because I'm scared my female friend might find out and be even more hurt. And I'm not sure if he likes me anyway.They're both very important to me. I want to be with my guy friend but I want them both to be happy too.Any advice?Thanks in advance. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Bliss84 +, writes (17 May 2007):
Firstly you have to ask yourself, does your guy friend likes you for who you are or is he liking the fact that you are bi? And when he gets used to the idea of you being bi will he continue being with you or will he get bored and move on? And where will you be standing if he did move on…will you get hurt? I am bi too and I find some men to be attracted to me AFTER they find out I am bi, I never tend to pursue anything further with them as I am pretty sure they have their hidden agenda (mostly threesome).
For you girl friend, I think you should talk to her and let her know that you only like her as a friend. There is nothing worse than leaving someone in false hope. Speaking from experience, I would have to disagree with martini and say that if you do not want to hurt her then try not to distance yourself from her and go on as normal as possible. I found it very hurtful when things between me and a girl I was in deep infatuation with became awkward. It was easier to deal with when we were friends and saw and spoke to each other often.
I hope this helps.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2007): You can't avoid hurting her. That is dependent on the person receiving and not you. So if you want to avoid hurting her, then never see her again, but I doubt that would be sound advice anyhow.
You just have to call her up, meet up somewhere, and tell her exactly what you meant. There is no point in furthering miscommunication - that is how a lot of wars are unnecessarily started. In fact, a LOT of relationship woes are started from miscommunication.
Someone might get hurt. That's the basics of it. Unless she is a machine that you can turn off her emotions.
...............................
|
