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female
age
41-50,
*ona2007
writes: Can you help me?I am in a relationship with a man I think is lovely but I don't really think I can be with?!Does that make any sense?I think we ought to break up but I can't bring myself to do it as I think he is going to hate me and that he is a good friend and I will lose him. What if I make a huge mistake?Not sure what to do can you help? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, mona2007 +, writes (16 February 2007):
mona2007 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your comments,There are several reasons I don't think we can be together:1. We are having a LD relationship although we did live in the same town and |I decided to move away.2. I really want to go travelling for 6-12 mths.3. He used to be my flatmate, things happened too fast for me and sometimes I'm not even sure I want to be with him as he doesn't fit my ideal i.e. he's a bit short, a little bit overweight, slightly ginger..er..and I think that everyone thinks I'm a tart for getting together with him in the way I did.4. + he is a bit of a flirt, has several female friends, he says he loves me but I'm not sure I can really trust him.Anyway, your comments have helped guess I'll just have to make up my mind!
A
female
reader, cd206  +, writes (15 February 2007):
 Sometimes someone can be totally perfect but if theyre not perfect for us then we start to push them away. To be honest I think you're both too old to let a break up come between you in the long term. Yes it might be a little awkward at he beginning but you're both adults. I'm sure you can cope fine. Don't do anything until you're sure because it would be totally unforgivable to dump him and then decide you want him back but if you make the decision to finish things do it the only way you can- be straightforward and let him down gently.
CD
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2007): If you think he is lovely and a good friend, why is it you don't think you should be in a relationship with him?Well, anyway. If you don't want to continue with him, you'll just have to tell him. Either in person or by phone. Don't break up by email, or worse yet, text!If he is married, separated or living with someone, then you certainly should break it off! Otherwise, tell him what's on your mind: you're a really sweet man, but we don't have enough in common, or whatever. Be kind, be prepared to answer questions honestly, but be firm if that is what you have decided!As to losing him as a friend, well, its a chance you will have to take. If you two have been sleeping together, then normally the best thing is to break up completely; no further contact, otherwise it can get messy and he will find it difficult to move on with his life.
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