I'm his girlfriend, not his mother!

A female age 30-35, *lackroses2989 writes:

Hello again! I'm still having a little trouble with my boyfriend. If you havent read my other post, "My boyfriend loves sleep more than me!" Then here's a breif summary, basically I have to do everything. He used to not help with the house at all and I had to clean it. He has gotten slightly better, meaning he puts his dishes in the sink. He doesn't do the dishes or he'll do one or two and say he did them. We both go to college, the biggest difference between us right now is that he has a job and I'm looking for one, because I just moved back to the area. But he uses that against me all the time. I cook, clean, and try to do all the laundry. He always tells me he'll help but its always lets do it tomorrow. Right now I'm jsut ot the point where I dont have a tomrrow its a day before christmas eve! Right now we only have one car ( his is being fixed, its an old car) and because he's working im typically on his schedule fortunately today I dropped him off at work ( we live about an hr away from where he works) and went home and did hte laundry at the laundromat. I love him very much and we are deeply in love, but he's a 20 yr old kid. He does have a job, however everything is usually about him. I feel like I have both a lover and a child. I've tried to explain to him that he needs to help around the house too. I truely think he believes that I sit on my ass all dy becuse I dont have a job, but that is not the case. I'm always doing laundry or cleaning, taking care of the dog, and looking for work. He is also a little self absorbed. If I dont do want he wants then its an argument, but if I want ot do something he complains, tells me to leave him at the house and then when i say okay fine, and try to leave he gets sad or angry at me. He's currently getting better about being so selfish but its hard to get him to clean. Every time I try he just goes to sleep and leaves me ot clean. Its always a hassle. Even having a dog is a huge deal for him, even though I take care of her. She's an eight year old, well trained black lab pointer cross that Ive had since I was tweleve. Shes house broken, doesnt chew, bite or get into any trouble really unless you leave her in the house alone for a while. Even then the most she will do is get in to garbage. We prevent it by leavg her in the courtyard when we go places. So there are basically no messes, she has a great disposition, but yet he complains about her constantly. I just dont know how to get him ot grow up. He needs to be more responsible, I'm not his mother and I think I deserve help around the house. I never ask him anything major , just to help me with dishes or vacuum. Please help me to encourage this boy to grow up! I'm his girl friend not his mother!

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