A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My phone got damaged on holiday and my bf gave me his spare phone to use temporarly so I put my card in his phone.Needless to say I was browsing the phone to see if anything from my phone's memory card was saved, and I came across a few messages and opened them to see if they were mine, and it was general text messages that we had when he had last used that phone, so as I continued to read "our" text messages I then came across a different number with random conversations, but I immediately felt suspicious, as it was conversations about how his day was to another guy, then randomly saw a message where it said,"I took it off and the only one i replied back to is you. so do I get to see what you look like since I couldn't on your profile" then the next message "That was quick/ cool picture, love the strawberries and cream, you know where my mind was wicked grin"As you can imagine now I am wondering whats going on.We started dating in Dec and this conversation was in June and I saw it today. Then I went into the pictures to see if there were pictures from my memory card and there wasn't. there were pictures of us, then I come across a chest picture of a guy with a towel covering his privates, and some red cloth so I can see where the reference came from as it did look like strawberries..then the next pic was of the same guy.. then afterwards a picture of my bf private parts that was sent to this other guy!!!I freaked out he was already sleeping and I left to my place and I took his phone as my one no longer works.What do I do?I don't think that I was snooping around where I dont belong as in the end, I stumbed upon this innocently and I feel enraged and mad and outright heart broken that my bf had a profile on a dating site and received pictures from another guy and sent one back of his penis whie in a serious relationship with me!What do I do? do I approach him, if I do how do I approach him, as in a way I want him to know that I saw this but then on the other hand fear that he will say that I was snooping around on his phone!Is this considered cheating now?What do i do??Please help!!!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2010): thanks, i sent him a normal message this morning just to see his reaction and I said that I am slowly but surly getting used to his phone, I will be giving the phone back as I do have a spare phone too.. then he replies saying have fun sticking your nose where it doesn't belong.
I am confused and scared and want to approach him because I am hurt and what gets me is that we are exclusive and I we said that cheating is something that we wont take lightly. what if I confront him and he dumps me for snooping on his phone?
A
male
reader, der_zyniker  +, writes (28 September 2010):
I think it's best that you confront him and dump him. If he's done this once already he'll do it again. I know you're hurt right now, but by leaving him you'll be saving yourself a world of hurt later. You don't deserve to be treated like this. You deserve someone who loves you and based on the way he's treated you, your boyfriend doesn't love you.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (28 September 2010):
 Of COURSE it's considered cheating! If you two have an understanding that you're exclusive, he shouldn't be communicating that way with someone else, much less showing his privates like that. The very essence of a relationship is that both people have no desire for anyone else!
I'd totally confront him!
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