A
female
age
,
*onnie123
writes:I've written before and its about the same guy again and our short yo yo relationship (he has OCD and possibly bi-polar) and was always telling me he couldn't cope with a relationship etc, but I maybe foolishly ignored good advice posted and kept talking him round and stuck with it as it was so good when we were together and now he's told me he's getting back with his ex. I am so upset and just do not understand it at all. She treated him badly during their relationship, dumped him a year ago in the same week he lost his job saying they'd always be friends etc and they would see each other for a coffee maybe once a month. He admitted he found it hard to move on and doesn't believe relationships should end. He is 57 years old and has never finished with anyone in his life yet I still find it so hard to accept that such a warm, tactile and loving man is prepared to settle for so little. She is a contained aloof person (I am not being bitter, his own family have told me this) and seems to view him as a meal ticket and after hardly bothering with him for a year when she finds out he is trying to move on and has been seeing someone else for several months she says she misses him and suggests they reconcile and I'm dumped!I know there is nothing I can do and I would never have had emotional security with this man but any thoughts would be interesting? I am hurting so much.
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reader, Bonnie123 +, writes (23 October 2010):
Bonnie123 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI managed somehow not to contact him and as my friends advised, after 2 weeks he sent me a "How are you?" text which I again ignored. He followed that with a 2nd and last night I responded and opened the floodgates I think! He is still seeing his ex a couple times a week "when she's around"! so has his 'history' back as he puts it but admits he misses our physical relationship, even though he wouldn't be unfaithful to her. I responded same and he sent further lewd texts which I ignored. Pleased he misses me & I still want him desperately but unsure how to play it now?
A
female
reader, DenimandLace44  +, writes (6 October 2010):
 I'm so sorry honey. It sucks when love is thrown in your face. I don't know why some people choose to go back. In marriages where there is love and someone just gets sidetracked, I am always so glad when they decide to work things out.
But on the other hand, when the relationship is so obviously disfunctional and one party is being mistreated, then I just don't get it.
I have a family member who has a wife, that comes and goes, comes and goes. She leaves with some guy...he gets tired of her and then she is broke with nowhere to go...and she calls hubby and he goes after her. It never fails...he goes everytime. They have lost their kids. They lost their home, their money, and their friends. Both families look on them and their trashy ways, with disgust...and yet, all it takes is a call. And he goes back to her.
I don't know what makes some men and women return to a horrible relationship...but they do.
You will find the strength to make it one day at a time. The pain is very real, and it wont just go away. But you will make it thru. Sometimes love just isn't enough. She has something that draws him back. Maybe he feels that he doesn't deserve happiness...who knows. I can only say that I am sorry and I wish you the best.
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