A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Please, please can you give me some advice, I'm at my wits end, I don't know what else to do :-(18 months ago my husband got a promotion at work- we were both delighted as he worked really hard and deserved it. The only issue I have is the amount of travelling he does with it which is really upsetting me. He travels every month around the world- which he loves, however I'm so lonely at home. For example he will be home 1 week then go away for 10 days, then back 1 week and away for 2 weeks.... Etc..... We have 1 weekend a month together and obviously the week he is here I work full time- as does he so I only see him in the evening.What hurts is coming home to an empty house, cooking for 1. Going to bed alone and waking up alone - I just miss him so much. I thought that after a few months I'd be used to it but I'm not, infact the more time goes on the more upset it makes me. Plus im constantly worried as he drives, get planes and trains a lot so I'm always on edege in case he has an accident. My colleagues and friends say I should enjoy having the house to myself but I don't and 1 colleague whose husband used to travels a lot in their marriage (he is now retired) said she used to love him being away and hated having him under her feet!I went to see my Dr as my friends were concerned about how upset I was and she told me it was a form of separation anxiety as we have never been apart in the 12 years we've been together. She wanted to give me antidepressants but I refused them. I have helped myself though-decided to take up yoga and another fitness class - I do that twice a week and I also enrolled in a cake decorating class at college 1 night a week. On the weekends he's not here I walk my elderly neighbours dog and get their shopping for them so it's not as if I'm at home not doing anything.My friends try to come over in the evenings 1/2 times a week or I go round to them but they have their own relationships and husbands and families that I can't monopolise all of their time.Both our families live over 3 hours drive away so I can't just get in the car and see them all the time. I have spoken to my husband about how I feel and he is sympathetic about it and has spoken to his boss about cutting down the travelling and working from the office more but his boss needs him on the road. We do Skype more often but it's not the same.Has anyone been in this situation? Will I ever be ok with it? I feel so lonely.P.s we are unable to have pets due to my allergies and we have no children (we are unable to have them) so please no one suggest pets or adopting a child- it's not for us.Thank you.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, olderthandirt +, writes (24 October 2015):
Why not take up a hobby that involves getting out a bit? Join a club Learn Bridge and get into bridge clubs.
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