A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:where to start, ok ive been with my partner for 6 years we have two young children and he has 2 daughters from a previous marriage.who are 15 and 17. i have always gotten on well the the girls and never had a problem before. The youngest has recently started to go out and get drunk of a weekend. Her mum phoned last saturday at 11 at nite saying she had not come home. he went looking for her and she was drunk. when he started to shout she started screaming that ive took her dad away and no one cares about her and that she is unhappy at home and the reason she cant come to ours is because of me i dont make her feel welcome.when she is at mine i do more for her than her own mother does i cook clean i even run baths for her she never has to do anything. we have a laugh together and just simply dont understand it.these girls are well known to be liars. and sometimes i dont feel comfortable myself because they go through all my personal belongings letters, makeup etc and quite often steal from me wether its makeup or money in the past.they once read a very personal letter from my doctor reguarding an abortion that i had. a week after i had it and while my children were present told me that people who have em are disgusting(this was a very hard choice for me)and at the moment my partner dosent seem interested in anything apart from making his daughter happy and wont hear my side. i think that this is attention seeking because she has never liked the fact that she has to share people and quite often will talk over people to get to her dad,mum or gran which i find very rude she is also very jelosus and will often bully people to get what she wants from them and as for the stealing my partner says that he cant keep on asking them have they took things when the truth is i know they have.please can someone offer any advice im sorry its so long and thankyou for reading and helping in advancexx
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2008): I think this child feels more comfortable with you than you think, teenagers are known for there regular "i hate you" statements but as parents we all know they dont mean it and i always answered my son with I am sorry to hear that cos i really love you. Your husband needs to talk to this girl and explain to her that no amount of bad behaviour is going to split up his new family he is with you to stay and tantrums are not going to send him rushing back to her mum, he needs to tell her that he left her mother because he no longer loved her but that his love for his daughter never waivered, this girl needs reassuring that she is very welcome in your home but that may not always be the case if she betrays your trust, perhaps you could explain you are happy to let the girls use your things but not happy for them to take the things without first asking, this behaviour is not acceptable and if it continues she may not always be so welcome. i wish you lots of luck and hope your husband will stand next to u on this u really need his support xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2008): my answer is possibly of no use but i thought i would tell you my story, i had a similar problem with a very jealous stepson who ended up accusing me of physically hurting him fortunately for me my partner knew he was lying and that i was completely innocent, i dont know why this occured because like you i did everything i could to make his stay in my home happy and comfortable even tho he treaeted it like a doss house, the situation seemed unlikey to resolve itself and i was unwilling to be at risk from false allegations so i have now stopped this child visiting the house completely, i didnt make the decision lightly i took lots of advice from other people and although this makes my partner very unhappy he has for now agreed to spend time with his son at grandmas house, right or wrong this works for us i wish you well and hope you can resolve it a little less drastically than i did
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