A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone! I'm 22 yrs old and married.there was a guy who really really loved me back when i was in school!but i didnt have feelings for him at all.i was not attracted to him.lets call him Ash.At that time, my ex wanted another chance as i broke up with him as he cheated on me many times.so when Ash asked me out,i was too confused and still had feelings for my ex and kept on saying no to Ash.After leaving school my ex and i broke up for good and Ash and i were still friends.i thought Ash would ask me out as i felt very protected when i was with him.so i thought he'll take me back.But he had already moved on with his life and he had a girlfriend by then.3 years later...Now im engaged,but what surprises me is that im unable to get Ash out of my mind.i dont know whats wrong with me as back then,when he used to like me,i didnt like him at all!Now all i can think of is about Ash.wen i see pictures of him and his girlfriend i feel so jealous (please,i dont want to feel this way).i love my husband and really wanna work this out.My marriage means a lot to me and i dont want to think of any other man except my husband.Why do i think of Ash out of all the people?How do i forget about Ash completely?i dont wanna think of him because its wrong (please help!!!!!Thank you so much in advance
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2010): You're welcome glad I helped!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank u so very much for ur advice.It really helped and gave me alot of strength.i myself didnt know the reason why i was getin upset over a guy in the past,& that too,sum1 i didnt really like.
The part whr u said "You don't really have feelings for Ash you are just imagining the what ifs which are playing with your mind and heart" solved a lot of doubts in my mind.
Thanks heaps.whoever u r,u r an amazing advisor. tnx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2010): It's normal for people to sometimes dwell on an old flame that they really cared about, even when they are with someone else. What you are thinking about right now are all the 'what ifs' You're wondering what would have happened if you and Ash had been together at the right time because he made you feel protected and loved. But now you've got a new man to make you feel those things. Don't worry to much about it. You don't really have feelings for Ash you are just imagining the what ifs which are playing with your mind and heart. I recommend that you just try to forget about Ash maybe stop looking at pictures of him and his gf. Focus on your husband. You chose to marry him for some reason. I'm assuming that your husband has made you feel safe and secure or you wouldn't love him so much. Maybe plan a romantic night out for you and your husband where you can rekindle those feelings again. If you find yourself thinking of Ash try thinking of how much better your husband is and how lucky you are that it didn't work out with Ash because then you'd never have met your husband. Think of all your favorite memories with your husband.
Good Luck let me know if this helps you any :)
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