A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I had a friend when I was a kid with whom I was madly in love with. We were never in a relationship but it was a crush then it got outta hand.I was friends with her for 3 years then I had to move when I was 12... I moved continents. I forgot about her for 4.5 years, then, I remembered her. I began missing her again. I started being depressed and 3 months later my cousin sent me a picture of her. He then told me that my best friend was dating her. I started being really depressed. My friend and her deny that they ever dated.I tried to contact her but I didnt get through to her. But, 8/9 months later. My cousin told me to add her, that she was in his friendlist. I then added her. We started chatting. We chatted at least 4 times a week, timezone is different so she sent me a message after she came home from college, which was 5 am for me. I always woke up to the sound of the facebook message on my iPhone. She then stopped talking to me 3 months later without a reason. I have sent her a numerous message and now am confident that she doesn't want to talk to me. But we have said hi to eachother 2/3 times, not much, just hi. She hasn't deleted me and neither have I.It's been 5 months and I saw a picture she posted a picture 2 days ago and I miss her alot again. All that deep feelings is coming back. Btw, I can't see her in my newsfeed (because I am unsubscribed from her) so I didn't know she posted a pic, I saw it in my friend's newsfeed.How do I stop myself from going crazy for her again?[I know as I never had a relationship with her so I have no right to feel hurt when she stopped talking or feel hurt now that she doesn't reply to my messages. I do not know why this is but I was really hurt and I was depressed for 8 months mainly because I started dreaming and thinking about her regularly. Now I had gotten better but those sad feelings are coming back and I am starting to be really depressed after seeing her pic, not necessarily because I don't have her but because no girl finds me attractive, there is no one except my family that loves me and because I am 19 and I have never had a relationship or have a girl confess her attraction to me!]
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female
reader, Anastasia  +, writes (9 June 2012):
 Hi there,
Unfortunately, as we get older and lose touch with our childhood friends, our lives change. Some people's lives move faster than others. You're in a differnt continent and long distance relationships and even some friendships can't endure that. You're in love with someone who isn't in love with you and that's something that is going to hurt alot.
You're depressed for sometime now and also I think suffering from low self esteem from being rejected some from her. You really need to pull yourself out of this and the first thing you need to do is stop monitoring her facebook and whatever social media thing you look at. Constantly looking at her profile and pics will just remind you that you can't have her and that she's all the way over there. So please stop that. If you need to delete her as a friend to avoid seeing her pics...then do that. You also need to get the support of your friends in getting over her. Let them know that you're having a hard time dealing with this and you're taking the time to detox yourself from her as it were. So please don't give you any updates or feedback where she is concerned as it won't help you any.
Most importantly, you need to share your feelings with your family. They love you and would not want to know that you are depressed for this length of time. Depression is a dangerous thing. It consumes you so much that your quality of life is reduced and you may even find yourself having unfortunate thoughts. Please pick someone in your family whom you trust and let them know that you are depressed, why you are depressed and that you are trying to get past it. Let someone know.
It's not going to be easy, it's going to be very hard. No one can take a dream out their head. But everytime you feel yourself going to think about her....pull yourself back...tell yourself...whoa there! Find a hobby, go out with your friends, do some charity..but keep yourself busy and so tired that you fall asleep quickly.
But please, share your feelings with your family and try to move on. There are people who love you and you have a wonderful future I am sure ahead of you where you will have more love and support. You just need to get over this hurdle.
Best of wishes
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