A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i know theres no way i can go back or anything! but is there any ways of stoppin all this guilt and regret? ive been with my boyfriend for just over a year now. im 17 and hes 19, both virging when we got together, i always said i didnt want to loose my virginity until i was married. im not religous or anything, just belive its the best thing, get married, buy a house, have children is the right order i always said! but on friday saturday night my boyfriend stayed at mine (i have a flat like built, joined onto my parents house, so were always alone) and anyway we were watching tv and he began to kiss me and touch my breats, id told him before that i wasnt ready, he said he would wait willingly, but we ended up layed together, sort of huddled up, kissing and stuff, and he slipped his hand in my trousers, i know i could have told him not to. but i didnt! he was getting really carried away and i really enjoyed it, we ended up getting like really heated and 'into it' and we ended up loosing our virginities, (we had condoms, from this connexions thing last year lol) and im on the pill (for other reasons) so we were deffinately safe. and i have to admit, it was the best experience ever, it was an amazing night at the time! but i feel so guilty about it, we havnt really spoke since, and i know he probably thinks bad things about me, but i cant stop myself feeling so sh*t about it! i feel like ive totally gone against everything ive said since i understood about sex! has anyone else had this trouble? is it normal to feel like this? will the guilt ever go? did we do anything wrong? sorry about the long post x
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionLOL -i just read my post and realised it makes no sense what so ever! he stayed at mine friday and saturday night lol, and it was saturday that it happened. but i dont supose it matters does it haha....thanks so much for your replies everyone, i really am greatful. since we 'did it' that night, we spoke a lot about it after i wrote this, i felt i needed to talk to him, he kind of felt the same, in a different way, he felt guilty about taking my virginity because he knew i wanted to wait, which is why he didnt contact me, he thought i'd hate him, which i would never ever do! but its kind of brought us closer, we've done it twice since, and theres no guilt! were super happy and enjoying our relationship :) with double contreception so theres no babies!! hah thanks guysss xxxxxxxxxxxoh -and to the last anonymous poster. i personally think some things are better left unsaid, and in the past! if you and your partner love each other, then dont finish him over the past, it will ruin every chance of happiness you ever get in the future, yes the truth is best most of the time, but this would most probably hurt him more, my opinion might not be the right one for you, but i dont think you should ruin what you two have over the past, dont avoid him, he'll know theres something wrong, just be happy and enjoy what you have :) x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2009): my experience is even worse. i lost it without me plannin for it. i lost it to a married guy with 5 kids and he hasnt called me ever since. i hate maself for stooping so low and i hate him. ma boyfriend of 9 years stil thinks am a virgin and he even told me the other day that he is gona make it special for me. am going crazy coz i cant tell him and now am avoiding the man i cant live without. should i just tel him and see if hes gona forgiv me or move on?
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2009): Congrats. I only made it about eight months, when I was with someone, and that was the longest I think that I had been with anyone. I married the guy some months later cos the guilt kept getting to me of of having premarital sex, but I also loved him of course. Idk if the guilt ever goes away, but like someone else said it does become more manageable.
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A
female
reader, busy04  +, writes (21 July 2009):
 It's normal to have different feelings after the first time. And you may be feeling that way because you really wanted to wait but got "caught up" in the moment. Go easy on yourself though, and don't beat yourself up about it. Talk to your boyfriend, find out how he's feeling also. It'll be okay hun!
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