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I’m fed up with my life, how do I change this?

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Question - (21 August 2018) 2 Answers - (Newest, 24 August 2018)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Before i say my problem please dont mention the doctor i already know and that is in hand. Im feeling stuck in life everyone around me is moving on with life and i feel like mine is going nowhere. I make myself go out and try things and meet new people. I put on a front, friends are getting married others are having babies. I know i should see how lucky i am to have what i do have ( isnt much ). My only child is almost 18 i wasnt lucky enough to meet mr right and have anymore children which i know will always be a massive regret. I work for the family business so i know i cant push myself more at work im already at the top. I feel a failure to myself. I know theres only me who can change my situation but im fed up of being knocked down and having to get back up again and again.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (24 August 2018):

aunt honesty agony auntYou have hit a rocky patch and you are just feeling down and bored in life. It happens to the best off us.

At least you get out and meet new people, but when is the last time you actually had fun? Laughed until it hurt, tried something new or done something crazy? You need to make your own fun in life, and I know it is hard when you are feeling down but sometimes we just need fun.

Don't put on a front, if you are feeling down talk to those around you, hiding it wont help but talking might. Yes people will get married and have babies that is life. We just need to deal with it. Maybe there was someone looking at you 18 years ago wishing it was them having a baby.

I truly don't understand how you can say you don't have much! You where blessed with a child, you have a good job and a roof over your head. Their are plenty of people in this world desperate for a child. There are people who are homeless and would do anything for a warm bed and some hot food, so please don't say you don't have much.

I understand it can be tough when you want more children but don't get the chance, but you where so lucky to be able to have one child. As for Mr Right is appears your not even 40 yet so don't write yourself off to soon. Try dating apps or singles nights.

You are at the top so no need to push yourself more, sit back and relax knowing you are doing the best you can. If you feel unhappy with work then do a career change, and go for something you have an interest in.

Who is knocking you down? You have not failed, you have had a child, you have a good job, you have friends and family what is it you have failed in? Is it love? If so then try more to meet single men your age. Go out off your comfort zones.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2018):

Your problem is the habit of comparing yourself to others. Envy has a way of distorting reality and making you feel less fortunate; therefore, less grateful or thankful for the blessings you do have. Whether you're a believer or not, God takes note.

Sometimes life sucks. If that's all you dwell on; then that is more about personality and attitude than life.

Sometimes we simply fail to add-up small blessings; because selfishness or ungratefulness tells us we ought to have more, or be more than maybe we are capable of being. Those who practice spiritual-faith know that blessings flow according to our needs and what we can handle. Those who live by their own intelligence, often do not see things in this way. While you might find some who do. It wouldn't hurt to adopt the philosophy. Consider [anything good] that comes your way is a blessing, for the sake of argument.

Self-contentedness is too often misconstrued as laziness, or a lack of ambition. Some are content with what they have; moreover grateful for what they already have. Anything more is a bonus, and all the more to be grateful and thankful for.

Being ungrateful will diminish the value of things you've earned and strove for. The mind is set on more, or what others have. So it doesn't accurately access the total value of what you already have; and will not allow you to be optimistic, or have enough faith to project for what you may receive in the future. You can't foretell the future; but if you are a self-defeating ungrateful pessimist, it won't matter. Only because you won't appreciate anything anyway.

You don't have to worry about a job, and you have a child nearly grown-up. Success! You didn't fail in those areas of your life. Many single-mothers don't make it. Your child didn't die before you; and you provided for him or her up to this very day! You are not ready for Mr. Right. You've got to deal with you first.

Having a child nearly an adult gives you plenty of time to pursue your interests; other than making comparisons to what other people have that you don't.

People fail to consider others have problems that they wish they could trade with yours; considering your post doesn't really indicate hardship or disability of any sort. You may be depressed, having a bad month, or nature is doing that monthly womanly-thing that puts women in the dumps! Usually it's a combination of everything, and you just get fed-up! Except for the monthly womanly-thing, I feel you! We all get to his point, sooner or later. Comparing what I don't have to what others do, I just don't/won't go there! God provides me what I need when I need it, and more! Just because He's generous to a fault! I still get sad, have bad-times, run out of money, get pissed-off, and feel like a human being.

You haven't found a man. Well, with men come problems and concerns. You had one child, well...you're still young enough to have more.

No matter how lucky, rich, beautiful, or married-with-children you are; you will get knocked-down, and have to get back up. That's life! Nobody gets heaven until they die! You make the best of what you've got, try to be a blessing to others; and rack-up whatever rewards you get for that!

Life feels better, provided we are thankful, show love, and kindness towards others; and appreciate blessings bestowed upon us that others may be wishing they had. Envy is one of the devil's favorite tools. It has no age-limit, everyone feels it, and it's hard to avoid!

First start working on your attitude. Take a deep breath; because strong women often have a hard-time finding someone who considers her an equal. That's why they don't always match-up quickly or easily. You've struggled alone, but you have survived; which means you did it all on your own, and didn't need a man to prop you up. That makes you a strong woman. Give yourself some credit. You have a right to be tired and fed-up. It's tough these days! You just don't get bitter and give-up; because you don't have what you want when you want it. You may not be ready or worthy of it yet!

Not if you're as bitter and cynical as you're coming across in your post! Any smart-guy better turn and run the other way! You might chew him up and spit him out!

Complaining has never changed a thing. It annoys you and those around you. Take action and change it; if you don't like it. Having a husband and babies may not make you any happier; if you have a bad-attitude, and you're ungrateful for your life. You'll only have a whole different set of problems to pile on top of those you already have.

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