A
female
age
41-50,
*non555
writes:ok. i really fancy a guy who works at my gym. we talk and have a bit of banter with each other whenever i see him - he was my personal trainer a few months ago. the thing is i always look terrible...hair tied back, red in the face and sweating from my workout. i've tried to make myself look a bit better by putting on mascara, making my hair look a bit better, and wearing good gym gear - but at the end of the day i don't look my best. it doesn't help that i'm surrounded by girls with perfectly toned bodies. i'm fairly good looking and a size 8 to 10, but compared to these girls i don't stand a chance. is there any hope with this guy or should i just move on and give up?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2008): Sexiness is all about attitude, if you have confidence and are yourself you'll outshine any insecure fake little gym bunnies. In any case if this man was so shallow that he could not see beyond physical appearance would you even want to date the poor bastard? I think not. Just talk to him, and like one of the other guys said ask him about himself cause really people do love carrying on about themselves, its sort of cute really. If he was your trainer for a bit you've probably already chatted with him and maybe even know a few points of common interest or what not, so you've got a head's start.
I have noticed though that trainers and gym owners and really most all personnel at the gyms I've been to are pretty flirty people in general, I used to work at a gym too and I can tell you the gym personnel even flirt with one another. It may be that nothing of substance comes of it but a little playful innocent flirting can be fun too. Good luck
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2008): Looks, looks, looks. Bah! Looks will get his attention sure, but intelligent conversation and showing genuine interest in him, will get him faster than anything else. Here is something you should know, someone should have told you this already but just in case they didn't here is a tip. People love to talk about themselves. Strike up a conversation, find out his interests and let him talk about them. Pretty soon you're having a real conversation. Next ask him out to somewhere neutral like a coffee house, something away from where he works.
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (29 April 2008):
 Hi there,
first step is to stop comparing yourself to the other girls. Admitedly we guys are visual creatures but most of us look for something particular in a girl - not just simply pick out the girl who is apparently the most attractive.
So the best way to snare your guy is to talk to him. Find ways to make small talk with him as only through communication will you be able to connect .
But be wary, most gym instructors I have come across relish the attention females bestow on them, and even if they don't they still get it. You sound like a woman who doesnt have the highest of self confidence , would you feel comfortable starting a relationship with a man you know is getting hit on every day at the gym. Something to think about that's all.
good luck.
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