A
male
age
36-40,
*ussy7
writes:OK, so I've asked questions on here before, got some advice, but a year on, I'm still in exactly the same situation. I'm now 25, and still never had a date. Never had a girl say yes when I've asked her out, or don't think there's ever been a girl that's had any feelings for me. I don't even know how it feels for someone to like me.It just feels like it's never going to happen for me. All my friends have someone, and have never had any problems with their dating life. On paper, I'd be a great boyfriend, so why is it that no one wants me in real life? I just don't feel like I'm wanted by anyone, and that I'm just the leftover that no one wants. Whenever I meet someone new, they're always attached.I would be more accepting of being single if I could actually get a date or have some girl take notice and have girls like me but I haven't even got that. Every girl I doesn't like me and it feels like no girl seems to want me and that's pretty much what the situation is.I think I'm the definitive proof that nice guys finish last. There's no justice in this world. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (13 September 2009):
 And where is the proof that you are a nice guy?
First warning sign a guy ain't nice. He says he is nice.
A
female
reader, QuirkLady  +, writes (13 September 2009):
 Women don't date men with no self-confidence. You can be nice all day and all night, but if you act like no one could want you, no one will. Personally I don't want to be with a guy who doesn't like himself. I want to be with a guy who knows he's pretty okay and has something to offer.
I wrote an article on this a while ago.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/lets-talk-about-the-problem-with-nice-guys.html
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A
female
reader, justme..x +, writes (13 September 2009):
 Hi :)
I agree with pinktopaz, but I have some points of my own as well.
Firstly, how do you KNOW no girl has ever had feelings for you? They won't all go shouting about it, you know. There's probably someone who has secret feelings for you right now - I know it sounds hard to believe and corny, but you'd be surprised :)
Anyway, you're 25 and never had a date. You could either go down the route of not letting it bother you: so what you haven't had a date yet? It doesn't make you lonely and unattractive for life. Perhaps you are waiting for the right girl. However, I'm not sure that will be the best mindset for you, since you are already unhappy about it.
So, if you want a date that much, why don't you join a dating website? There's no shame in it, it doesn't mean you're desperate or anything. It's just a sure way to meet single girls your age.
If you would prefer to "find a girlfriend yourself", or just don't want to join a dating site, then go get busy: go out, get introduced to "friends of friends", buy a few drinks for people, maybe get a few numbers. But, if you are going to do it that way, be prepared for a longer wait.
Lastly, please don't let this harm your self-esteem. It's not your fault you haven't met the right girl yet. As pinktopaz said, you can make yourself more attractive (sounds shallow and rude, but in reality that is the first thing girls will see; after all you don't wear your personality), but there's nothing wrong with you. I am sure you will meet someone soon, and she will be very lucky.
Good luck! x
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (13 September 2009):
No way! Nice guys finish last when you go after little girls that think they can change bad boys into nice guys. It gets old after a while, and you'll start meeting girls (especially as you age) that don't want a guy that they want to change into a nice guy, they want someone that is a nice guy and stays one.
The only thing I can think of is appearance. I know, I know, I don't want to seem shallow, but appearance and confidence go a LOOOONG way (especially if you have a good personality to go with it). You don't have to look like a model, but if you attempt to take care of yourself and dress semi-fashionably, as well as show confidence there are plenty of girls that would want to date you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2009): You mean to tell us that if someone offered you a million dollars if you got a date you couldn't do it (no bribes allowed)?Face it, you don't really want a date. If you show interest in someone they will respond BUT you have to show interest.Coupling works with that premise. You have to be interested in someone and that person will be interested in you because you are interested.BTW, have you heard that it's a numbers game? How many chicks have you actually asked out? One? Two? No wonder then.What makes you think you're a nice guy? Maybe you come across as a guy who constantly has a scowl on his face because he thinks to himself that he repels the opposite sex.Maybe you need to relax. You need to stop thinking about poor old you and start taking an interest in someone else. When you have forgotten yourself helping someone else you will demonstrate some attractive qualities to someone else that will take an interest in you.It's a vicious circle...like life.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2009): Dude, first of all.. Take it from me. I know where you coming from. First of all you can't look for love, cause then you would never would find it that way. If you do find a girl to date you your going to end up hurt. Trust me that the worst feeling in the world. Just go have fun, don't just sit in the house feeling sorry for yourself. Woman want a man with confident, not saying you don't have confidents. Life is to short. Go to the gym. Jogging really help. Just be happy with your self trust me everything with fall into place. A big key is that you care to much.. Sadly to say that a big no no.. I know it hard because your a nice guy.. I'm a nice guy my self. But, you can't please them. Self-esteem is a very powerful thing to have. When you have healthy self-esteem your a more confident person, your better at dealing with life disappointments, you build friendship with others more easily, you perform better in school and a lot more. But however, with all of lives challenges and stress we all face everyday, feel can feel very insecure. Persons with low self-esteem more are more likely to smoke, take drugs, struggle with eating disorders and other behavioural issue. There are a lot of quick and simply ways in which you can build your self-esteem. Here are some tips to help you feel good about Be a good friend. We all need someone to listen to our problems but sometimes we get so caught up in telling our friends our problem that we forget that they have problems too. If you haven't started yet, then start giving a listening ear. By doing this it will make you feel important and know that someone cares and want to get our attention.Step 2Be your body best friend. Often times we get so caught up with life challenges that we forget that our body needs our attention. When we take care of our body it will help us to feel more confident about ourselves.Step 3Think and be positive. A person that is confident and his or her self will also try to have a positive outlook on things.Step 4Try to always do good. By reaching out to others who are lest fortunate that will make you feel good about yourself. It doesn't matter what, just start doing some good deeds today. You can help your neighbour, visit someone in the hospital or even help that old lady down the street with her shopping. They are lots of good you can do if you just look.Step 5Be passionate. Put a little passion in your days and in everything you do, that's right, be passionate about it.Step 6Be yourself. Often times we try to be someone else in order to please that special person. Take care of your self and if that person can't accept you for who you are, then he or she doesn't deserve you.Step 7Get involve in some sports activity. Instead of sitting and feeling bad about your self get up and get involve in some sports activity.Step 8Exercise a lot. Exercising make us feel good about ourself. If you can't do it by yourself, have someone join you. You'll feel a lot better.Step 9Think highly of yourself. Never put yourself down. Your more than what others say you are; your special and God loves you. Never let anyone tell you that you are nothing and don't you dare think that about yourself.Step 10Be friends with persons that always think positive and will motivate or encourage you to be the best you can
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