A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello. I'm 17 and I met my first boyfriend, who's 19 a little less than a year ago and we've been dating for around 5 months. He's absolutely perfect! He's nice, smart, funny, and has a stunning body (bonus!)He is a type of person who is good at everything he does. When he starts something, he always makes sure to finish it in the best way he can. He's absolutely amazing at track, he's won state championships for hurdles and is 12th nationwide, and he's also training to be in the next summer Olympics for weight lifting. He is also quite musical. He can sing well and play a variety of instruments with skill. He is a very well-spoken person, and isn't scared to express his opinions, even if the world seems to be against it. Some people say that he's arrogant, but it's just because he expresses his opinions with confidence and without worrying about what people think of him. He has a lot to be proud of, but by no means does he broadcast it to the world. He‘s quite the popular guy, but he doesn’t drink or do any drugs, which I love. Me, on the other hand, I'm not really good at many things... I play the piano quite well and he says he enjoys listening to me play, but his qualities outweigh mine by... A LOT! He says he loves me because of my personality, which I think is my strongest attribute. I almost never get angry, and I’m usually a very happy, easygoing, bouncy person and he says he likes is because in a way it contrasts his personality. He also likes the fact that I didn’t “Fool around” with other guys before him. He’s my first for everything (even kissing!) and he really likes that. He’s only had sex with one other girl, which was his past girlfriend who he loved a lot at the time so he’s not the one to fool around either. They broke up because she started drinking and going to bars with fake IDs, which he’s really against, and he said that he stopped having sex with her once he started doubting their relationship. With this description, you’d think he’s a very introverted, solemn person but that is VERY FAR from the truth. He always finds a way to make me laugh, and always does these cute things and is very fun to be around.Of course, I trust him with all my heart. I know that he would never cheat on me, and that if there were any problems, he’d talk about it to me first. I feel very much loved, and I always make sure to show him my affection when we’re together, and not. We seem perfect for each other, or rather, he seems perfect for me! Actually, I’m pretty sure he’d be perfect for many girls, although there would be very very few vice versa. I know he loves me very much, but I don’t think I’ll ever feel like I’m good enough for him. Is this something I should talk to him about? I don’t want it to backfire, and have him think that I have a very low self-esteem, or that I don’t want to be with him anymore. Is it something that will pass in time? I really don’t know what to do with this situation I’m in. Any advice, anything at all is welcome.I know this is a really long question, and thank you for those who have read it and want to help me
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (26 October 2008):
Yeah cos "I'm rubbish and not good enough for you" is what ever boyfriend dreams of hearing.
You can tell him you are feeling a bit down about yourself and that you have not achieved as much as you would have liked to, and feel a bit inferior to him some times. But don't start on the "I'm not good enough and you're going to leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeave me." Been there done that, look back on it and am not particularly proud. It is just whingy and annoying. Seriously.
Tell him you want to take on a new hobby and find something that you are good at.
Other than that you are just going to have to accept that he thinks you are amazing and you probably are.
Good Luck!! xx
A
female
reader, Oblivia  +, writes (26 October 2008):
 Hi,
I think that if he is the perfect guy for you, then you definitely should be able to talk to him about all your fears as well as about light-hearted things.
On the other hand, why do you feel so much you might not be good enough? From what you have written here you come across as a warm-hearted, nice girl who is smart and musical. I don’t think he lied when he told you he enjoyed listening to you playing the piano. I bet he might at times be quite nervous deep down that you might find HIM not good enough. You might admire his good qualities and by that not see and value what is great about you, all the good things about you that makes him want to be with you.
You are a great person and a catch for any guy, don’t forget that!
Best of lucks to you!
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