A
female
age
41-50,
*acks
writes:please could someone tell me im being paranoid.ive been married 8 years a few months ago i was in the shopping mall and a woman stopped to say hi to my husband.i asked him who was that and he told me she was a co worker and that was the end of discussion and then a few months ago he received a text messege with an odd name on it so i asked him who it was and told me it was a man he worked with again discussion ended. Then one night his phone rang and it was the odd named person calling when he put down the phone he told me it was the lady from the mall who needed help with her tv....i confronted him and said but you told me the odd named person was a man..he told me he lied because he knew i would get jealous...then he went out with her and colleagues and didnt come home till 5 30. we discussed the issue and told me he would contact me from now on when hes out to let me know hes ok or has a way home..Then a week later he went out again with her and colleagues and didnt bother coming home..i found him at her house where he slept on the sofa. she lives a minutes walk away and said he was too drunk to come home and past out on her sofa....what i want to know is he drove past his own house to get to hers and am i being over sensitive.. I'm currently pursuing a divorce because of his lies and the fact he wont cut off ties with this woman even though they dont work together anymore
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co-worker, divorce, drunk, jealous, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, jacks +, writes (19 September 2007):
jacks is verified as being by the original poster of the question i just wanted to say thanks to those that replied to my question.....i wasnt being paranoid after all he did finally admit to having feelings for this woman and im now seperated and enjoying life to the full. i have a social life again and i dont have to worry about where he is or who he is with....now hes the one doing the worrying yeeehaaaa...
A
female
reader, jacks +, writes (13 June 2007):
jacks is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you all for the replies..theres more to this story but i didnt want to drag it all out at once..this could be the most innocent situation but unfortunately he lied to me about her before i even met her. weve had issues in the past as far as his going out and forgetting i exist is concerned. im so confused and hurt right now..im not upset with the woman im upset about the lies surrounding her..i dot know if im making sense at all...frustration is getting the better of me now
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2007): Your interwishing is correct. Shame on this lady who works with your husband. Any woman who is considerate of a man who is married, would consider the "feelings" of his wife...especially calling your home and asking him to come over and fix her television. If she was smart and didn't have any motives, she would of invited you also and that is the proper way to let you know "there is nothing going on." She dosn't have to know you to do that, but a smart and caring women would of done this.
It is obvious, she has motives and she teases...it is a "game" tramps play to see how far they can get with a married man. Remember this though, "your husband" has the power to "stop it" and cut the association. He needs to do that or mellow things out and not assocaite so much with this lady. He should be considerate of your feelings and we are not talking about jealously here. No jealousy would of been a topic, if they didn't approach this called "fixing the television", being drunk and crashing on her couch, coming home early such at 5:00 .am.... This is complete B.S.
YOu deserve better and now it is time to honor yourself for who you are.
Let it be known, I was married for a good 13-years and really thought I knew my husband. Only to find out that this lady who was once my friend, who helped my husband with his work...they were having an affair for 3-years before I found out. Lord and behold, I even knew her husband and at the time my own husband and I would have dinner at their house...and here I was not knowing or having any clue that my husband at the time and this so-called betrayal friend were having a fling.
Yes, I got a divorce and feel better about my decision.
I am doing things creatively that I have put aside because of my faithfulness and loyalty to my ex-husband.
You deserve to "breathe". You deserve peace.
Best of luck to you and hang in there...but remember to honor yourself for who you are. Don't let any low-self-esteem happen to you because of this idotic behavior this lady has and sorry to say, even your husband.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2007): To suggest that there are communication issues in your relationship might be an understatement. He needs to be open with you and come right out with whatever it is that he's been doing. If you're able to sit down with him, you should. It might be explainable, it might not. But either way, he needs to learn his lesson and be honest 100%. If you don't teach him how to be faithful / honest... then he's just going to do it to his next ex-wife. If not for you, teach him a lesson so the NEXT woman doesnt get hurt.
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A
male
reader, NuVu  +, writes (12 June 2007):
I've known a couple of families who had similar situations and were able to patch things up. He might not be having an affair (sexually speaking), but might be in a partying mode right now.
You need to be respected and he needs to get his act together, there is no doubt about that. However, a marriage of 8 years is a lot to give up on and i don't know if there are kids in the picture. Yes, if he doesn't get his act together, you have to end it. However, just make sure you've tried whatever you can to make him see the light.
In the end though he is the one who has to take responsibility to change and and remember what love is all about. However, if he does change you need to let go of any residual anger and resentment.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2007): This man is blatantly lying to you.
I know this hurts, but you have to come to reality.
If you cannot bear him being unfaithful, then get a divorce, there's no other way around if.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2007): hes not worth the aggravation and hurt. GO FOR ITIT being divorce
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