A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm confused on what I should do with someone I like but I don't want to take it any further than what we both agreed. We started off friends with benefits and it was so cool. I loved the whole friendship his company and all. He didn't make me ever feel uncomfortable or like he was trying to be my man. Its been a few months and we regularly hang out more. At first it was short casual meets and back to home. Then it became actual hanging out with him and friends and family at times. We talked for awhile and were very affectionate in the past. When we actually hooked up it was different. We wanted to be just be homies and no more than that. Lately events added up to where we told eachother we cared for eachother and all. At the time his babymama came back around and we met up and talked. He brought up the past of ours and just told me how he felt and so did I. Next weekend he told me he kicked his babymama to the curve again. He started coming around me more and we spent two days recently together. It was the most confusing ever with us. First he questioned me like he was my boyfriend who was I on the phone with when he showed up out of nowhere. Snatched my cellphone and turned it off when he picked me up so we can spend time. He just changed with me and I have no idea why. I don't understand him because one moment he's saying one thing like we are just homies and introducing me as one to others. Acting that way then when around certain people its different and he wants to grab me and talk to me like I'm his. When its just us both especially... What kills me is he didn't act this way before as we both kept it friends with benefits. Now he acts controlling with me and gets mad quick and reacts aggressively. Just taking things that don't have anything to do with me. Our two days felt like we were a couple. We argued constantly and I felt like a relationship. It drove me nuts. Why does he act like this? What did I do wrong? Why can't it be the same as before? I told him about all this and he plays dumb. He started to even just bring up things bout females and ask me if I'm jealous. If I'm looking out the car he thinks I'm checking someone out and he tells me to go with him. I don't know what to do because I like him a lot but I'm lost with what he does and says. It doesn't match and I'd rather be how it was. What's missing? Is it me or what? He's became so comfortable with me also because I spoil him abit. I just really care for him but I think its time to let him go. As much as I don't it might be the answer. I just don't know how to. I'm so confused...
View related questions:
friend with benefits, jealous Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo Cerberus- The thing is we didn't establish we are more so why does he act this way? What does he really want from me? One second he's telling me keep my emotions out of it but he's the one flipping out on me like I'm his. He talks to me like we are together now but tries to be my friend at times also. Like he's confusing with what's said and what's actually done. You know? Are guys just like this? Playing hot and cold? Idk. Smh.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2012): Yes OP it is time to let him go.
You say you're confused, well there's only one question you need to ask yourself "am I really going to let a guy who's supposed to care about me treat me like a bitch?"
Are you OP?
You know what this is right? Everything was fine when you were just a piece of ass to him. he could act nice to you because you were giving him everything he wanted and also he could still have his punch bag babymamma that he could abuse. But now that she's gone you're going to get all the abuse, control and crap that he used to do to her.
Basically OP this is what he is like as a boyfriend, is that really the kind of boyfriend you want? Because you see everything was fine when he didn't own you but now he does, now he is your master in his mind and now he gets to boss you around and get jealous and stuff because to a guy like him you're now his property.
You do know how to OP, never ever let anyone treat you the way he is now. It will never be how it was, it might be for a little while when you decide you've had enough and he tries to win you over again but as soon as he has you again he will start treating you this way again.
You need to walk away OP, you're eventually going to have to get rid of him but the choice is between doing it now after seeing the real him or playing this game for a lot longer, unable to let go until it finally breaks you and you lose all faith in yourself.
OP this is going to go one of two ways, you'll either find the strength to get rid of a guy who you now see is no good or you don't and he slowly grinds you down and breaks you as a person.
Make no mistake, this is who he really is OP.
...............................
|
