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male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I have always been attracted to thin petite woman however the past 3 months I've been dating a woman who I would consider overweight, nothing drastic though. I started dating her mainly because I love her personality and she is very nice and pleasant to be around. We have a lot of fun. My issue is I don't know if I'm that attracted to her physically. She's not usually the type of woman I go for. But at the same time I know I'm completely attracted to her personality and who she is as a person. My feelings are conflicted and I'm confused. I don't lust over her, but she's the most fun and nicest gf I've ever had. What do I do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2015): Well I sure’s heck would not drop her. This just might turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to you. You know that divorce rates are sky high now. Why? Because people do not get to know each other before hopping into bed. So count your lucky stars – both of you for whatever reasons are not clamoring for sex – yet. So continue to get to know her wonderful qualities – make a pledge to not rush into anything. Don’t get romantic until you both really want to!Which girl would you rather take home to mother, which girl would you rather spend time with? Does she have similar interests as you, does she participate in the same things as you (now those could be deal breakers). Also keep in mind that when the time comes she might turn out to be the most exciting lover you have ever known.Oh no, girls like this do not come along very often.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (26 August 2015):
 Once you get her to put out, all thee questions will disappear,,,, good luck.....
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2015): Basically it comes down to one question 'could you have sex with this person?' If the answer is anything but 'yes' you should not date her, let her find someone who can desire her physically and mentally. You need to be attacted to someone outside and inside for it too work and if you aren't, you aren't. you can't make yourself! Personally when it comes to appearance I don't look for someone to be stunning\supermodel, but they must not 'un-attract' me, if you get what I mean! I also dated someone once who was very good looking but had no personality, that didn't work at all! You need both.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (24 August 2015):
 there are a few cautions you need. If you want to be just friends be up front about it and make sure she has opportunities to meet more interested guys.
Don't try to change her. No one wants to be a project. Focus on the things you do love about her.
You will probably find it harder to find a person who love their personality and who they are as a person, than you will finding a person who matches a physical type.
In short how unattracted are you? Have you tried fantasizing? I ended up marrying a girl with short curly hair after dating girls with long straight hair.
FA
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (24 August 2015):
 She's a friend. In order to be a girlfriend, there needs to be both physical and mental attraction. Just one or the other will never work out. You'll try, sure, but you'll just end up with sexual frustration, dissatisfaction, and in the end just hurting her feelings. If you start a relationship with her when you KNOW you're not attracted to her physically, then you're just leading her on and will hurt her. You're starting a relationship under false pretenses. She will think you are attracted to her physically as well, and it will be a huge blow under the belt when the truth comes out. And it will. You won't magically start to get physically attracted to her, and she wont magically turn into a petite woman either.
Be true and honest with yourself here. She's a great gal, and a great friend, and you enjoy her personality. Fine! Sp be her friend, but do not date her, and do not enter a relationship with her. I promise you it will only end badly.
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