A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:im a bisexual who prefers girls.. i've never fell in love with men (i only "like" them and their bodies) but have loved many women. im in closet..have never been into relationship.. there's this guy who has been chasing me for the past year...he's really sweet and gentlemen...im comfortable with him, but i dont think i love him. but sometimes i do miss him.. it's confusing!! he's asked me to be his gf once but i rejected him...he didnt give up and continue to be very nice to me. today he brought me to a romantic dinner... i knew he was going to ask that question again but i kept changing the topic to avoid him asking.. now im back home, thinking, if i should accept him to experiment a heterosexual relationship.. im not confused with my sexuality.. just want to try it out. but he's very serious about me and i dont want to hurt him..should i try it out with him? or no? i have about a few hours....to give him an answer!
View related questions:
fell in love Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, The Shadow's Tears  +, writes (3 June 2009):
 hello,
why cant you tell him your bi? is there a trust issues there? maybe you should take it real! slow. get to know him more. maybe ask him questions about his view points on bi and gay. (like a curious question, you don't have to tell him you are) i feel that you should get to know him more, and get your feeling under check before finally deciding if you want a relationship with him.
because i was in this situation before. (the one day like other day not to much deal, not the bi thing) and i got into a relationship with him, it turned out, well, not to good I'll tell ye that! so i wouldn't advise rushing just let, because it sounds as if you need to get your grounding, learn a little bit more about yourself, before you test this out on a guy who will get hurt. and if you rush this, and not know what you truly feel about him, he, or you, will get hurt.
please just try to take a moment to really think about yourself.
what do you like?
hate?
what do you like about women that men doesn't process?
and what makes this man different then the others?
what his weaknesses?
streathes?
and do you think you can be with a man?
take time to find yourself out before trying to be with a man that's all ready this deep.
hope this helps you out!
X: Shadow Tears
A
female
reader, The Shadow's Tears +, writes (1 June 2009):
Hello,
well since your "in the closet" you don't really have to tell him your bi, but if your thinking of being with him do what i do. when i date a guy that's really serious about me, i tell them, to take it slow. i'm open to the fact that i'm not as "in love" with them and that they need to let me build up to that love. if he really cares he'll take it slow. and who knows, if you tell him your bi and he doesn't mind then you got a great thing going. right? but always fallow your heart. if you feel you can trust him to take it slow and let your heart grow to love him just as much, then i say you got a good fish.
hope this helps!
X: Shadow Tears
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2009): hi im the original poster.
i can't tell him im closet bi..im sorry.
sometimes i wanna get close with him...like wrap him around my arms and kiss his cheek. some days i like him a lot, some days i dont..i dont know why i feel this way! it's okay if deep down im really a lesbian, but i dont wanna question it now. i want to know how i feel for this person. it's been soo long! and i thought if i truly like him i'd have fallen for him long time ago!
it's frustrating...trust me... i dont wanna play him out. he accepts my flaws and is always singing praises of me. he's handsome and caring, and even though i see his good points i keep finding faults and flaws of his.. i cant help it :( trust me when i say 'some days i like him a lot, some days i don't'.. and some days means a FEW days. but with girls im different. i know i love women. but if i try hard enough, do u think i might love him one day?
please read all that i've pointed out...and give me advice. I WILL TAKE THEM!
-wants to get close to him
-likes him a lot some days, but some days doesnt
-likes him being caring, but keeps finding fault with him
-loves women, but wondering if he's different from other men ? (most of them i've met are bastards and jerks)
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2009): He loves you and wants to be with you in a real relationship, he doesn't want using as one of your experiments, nobody wants to be a scapegoat. Just tell him the deal, where your at in life and see if he agrees to go along with it. It might be that he wants you so much and has been trying so long that he'll accept anything, although i know i wouldnt be happy in that situation.
It sounds to me like your a lesbian. A bisexual is always swayed more the other way anyway and i've never understood why they hide behind this éxterior.
...............................
A
male
reader, Who +, writes (22 May 2009):
 I agree with lazy guy. make sure he understands how you feel and see if he still wants to be bf/gf under those terms, knowing things may not devlope futher and you 2 may not last.
...............................
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (22 May 2009):
 Be honest with him. If he genuinly loves you and you are just using him as an experiment then he is going to end up hurt and that ain't fair.
Tell him the deal, that you like him but don't love him and are not sure you ever will but are willing to try dating him to see what develops.
But just as experiment to see if you might like guys as a partner. No. That ain't right.
...............................
|
