A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:so here goes...im 24. i have been off and on with my bf for 3 years. i give up when things get hard. he has been trying to get a good career for a while so he has moved a lot. we broke up 2 years ago and had no contact. he messaged me a week ago and we fell back in love immediately after seeing eachother. heres the problem my parents hate him because of my sharing the bad with both parties. he would say something bad i would tell my parents and when they said something bad i would tell him. i was 20 at the time and now realize that i was wht made them hate eachother. my bf and i are in better circumstances then we were when we broke up and know what its like to be without eachother and dont want to know what its like again. he is the type of man that would do anything for me and loves me unconditionally. i left because things got to hard between him amd my parents. my dad is very controlling. i still live at home and am in college. if my parents find out im back with him they will be so hurt and mad. i love him and if it were just me and him without my parents involved judging our relationship we would be perfect. i am super close to my parents. i want them in our lives i just dont know if they will ever like him. i wish there was a way we could all forget the past and start over
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (28 March 2015):
 Try this relationship out one more time. If all goes well and you don't feel there's any "bad" that you have to tell your parents, then it's a good solid relationship probably leading to marriage. Until then it's just trial and error. You could tell your parents you are back with your boyfriend and this time it's for real because you learned from your mistakes and grew up. If he loves you unconditionally like you say, then the "bad" is just arguing over silly things and miscommunication. Not the kind of bad like partying all the time and cheating. A lot of dads don't like boyfriends anyway so whenever you cry, they think it's all your boyfriend's problem. When your relationship goes well, don't forget to compliment him to your parents and mention that he had these traits all along, but you only ran to them when you had bad times.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2015): You're 24 years old, and too dependent on your parents. It's okay to be close, but you have to draw the line when it comes to your personal-life. If you are financially-dependent on your parents and still live under their roof, you give them authority over you. You childishly and vindictively turned them against your boyfriend when you wanted to stir-up trouble. Now you want him back.
If they don't want him around, it's their house. You put your foot in it, and now want to turn it all around. You're too old to keep secret boyfriends; so you may as well tell them about him. I think you still have much maturing to do before you get too deeply involved with that young man. You don't seem to know how to handle adult-situations in your life.
Your father is only controlling; because you keep him in the position of financially-supporting you, and protecting you, as he did when you were a child. Your parents don't see you as a capable and independent adult. You may have a lot of trouble convincing them your boyfriend changed; because you told them bad things he said about them, knowing that would hurt and upset them. If he is wise, he should think twice before returning to this situation.
Get a job, find a place of your own, gain some independence, and keep your business to yourself.
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