A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everybody, well my problem is this.... For the last two years since ive been with my bf he has been constantly working on his laptop to make a computer game (not so much in the first few months) It's his dream to make it big and i support him in that. But he works fulltime in the army, and he lives 20 miles from me, we used to see each other everyday because his barracks was only ten mins from my house so he would stay nearly every night, but his barracks closed down and he had to move to one closer to where he lives.He also has his son every weekend except for one day every second weekend.So im lucky to see him once or twice a week now, and he said that i cost him money on fuel for him to come and see me and he's saving up for an engagement ring for me so he can propose and he cant save for that and come down to see me because its costing him too much and im inconsiderate and ungrateful for not aknowledging the fact that it costs him money and that hes sacrificing everything to make it big for me.So i should leave him alone and stop cribbing . I have two children of my own so i can't stay with him as they are in school here. Anyways when he is here all he wants to do is use his laptop..He will use my internet coz his connection is slow at home and he will be on it for the night, this is every single time hes here and when he was living here it could be anything up to 11hrs a day if he had the day off, Anyways i said to him its coming between us and as we see each other so rarely now can he just not bring his laptop when he comes to visit as its caused so many arguments Whenever i mention his laptop he snaps or he'll turn off his laptop and go on his iphone instead, i just feel like there no point to this relationship if hes gonna focus all his energy into his gaming I understand he wants to make it big but one day a week with no laptop and just quality time together isnt alot to ask for, i cook for him and satisfy him in everyway that i canI just feel like im only here for him to have sex with when hes finished on his work. our sex life is brilliant but i dont want a relationship just based on that and whats the point in him proposing if were drifting apart? I feel so upset we have been through so much crap and fought so many times and alot was to do with his laptop he wont sit down and watch a film with me and the kids, he just excludes himself form everything to go on his laptop, my family and friends think hes rude as whenever they meet him hes either on his laptop or constantly on his phone playing around. He started bringing me to dinner more but he still cant leave the phone be for two mins.. Anyways i asked him yesterday when he will be down next and he said tomorrow so today i texted him and said will ya be down today just so i know to make more dinner and his reply was "if i come down today then i need to finish my model and you wont let me on the laptop." I just replied if he could leave it til tomorrow to which i got no reply so i texted again just to leave it, finish his model and il see him another day that i just wanted to spend some time with him, well no reply to that either!! so i wont see him at all this week now..! he also wants to take 2 weeks off work so he can work on his laptop he said we can spend time together he can stay with me for the 2 weeks and work 9 til 6 and then hes all mine !!! Im just at my wits end im sick of being second best to his laptop and phone i hardly ever see him and when i do he has to go on one of them. I know he loves me but he just makes me feel crap and i sometimes think i should just leave for good this time coz its never gonna stop. Any ideas on what to do? thanx for reading this id be very grateful for any feedback. x
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2012): Sounds like he has poor time management. If he is with you he should be WITH you and enjoy your company not the computers. If he structured his work in the week then surely he can leave it for a day and concentrate on being woth you. He could have an addictive personality and this could be his addiction so to speak. Its a habit he cant break and sounds like he needs help. If he really loves you he would respect your wishes and listen to how unhappy you are. I mean you are not asking him to move mountains?
A
female
reader, Lostit  +, writes (25 October 2012):
Wauw.. That really does sound frustrating.
But if it's just temporarily and due to the fact he has a deadline on this game (?) it's really not worth breaking up for, is it? You love the man!
But still.. You should look out for that he still loves you. He might be in a really difficult period of his life and it might be strongly against his will that he has to behave like this.. But it can also be he simply doesn't think he can lose you, and therefore aren't that bothered..
I really think you should properly confront him and tell him, that if it doesn't get better you're not sure you want to keep the relationship going, because you don't feel it adds any worth to your life. Hope this helps, I might totally have misunderstood you.
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