A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi allWanted to know if this is normal behaviour from my bf of four months... Ok he's so caring and affectionate, telling me how happy i make him above all else, he loves me compliments etc.But he isn't a big texter/ caller... Ok he plays a LOT of comp games, does sketching n art, very into hobbies he can do for hours... I'm not a big caller either, sometimes ill text him though and he'll literally take 6-10 hours or more to reply! Now I'm not needy with this, but when i miss him and i barely here from him for two days, i get on with my own hobbies... And barely message him.. I am quite socially anxious though so that's why i don't really call him much He talks to his friend (female) everyday on FB messenger though.. I mean we do see each other 2-3 times a week, he doesnt see her that often. When were together we get on well, have a laugh, have stuff in common... He's not socially anxious and even though I'm not very social I don't want to go 2 days without talking to my bf.. i just thought if you truly love someone you would want to talk to them once a day, even if for ten mins right? I brought it up with him once, he improved a bit but he's just lagging again...Does it mean he doesn't truly love me? Its not like he ever makes excuses to see me or anything.Thanks!
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2017): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your reponse... For me I don't want a boyfriend who can't even take 10 mins out of his day to text his gf back cos he's playing ganes games etc. He even said earlier that he wants to set up some controllers for us to play together, as its "a big part of his life" :/ Im guna say tomo when I see him that if he compromises in the contact department, ill play a few games with him :/ even though i find it regressive and a waste of time... If he doesn't make effort I guess I deserve better right, some one who makes some effort to meet my needs?
We do have fun, interesting dates, get on well, enjoy watching. TV together etc.
Thanks for your time/ response again!
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (4 January 2017):
 It does NOT mean he does not love you. IT means he needs less contact than you did.
By bringing it up with him before you did the right thing.
I did this with my now husband. We were LDR and in the beginning he could go days and weeks without contact.
I finally told him that I needed more contact and he was able to work it so that we had a 30 second wake up call in the morning (he asked me to call and wake him) and then we had a bedtime tuck in call when I would call him and we would talk...sometimes 2 minutes sometimes 2 hours...
sounds like he just does not do phone/text well. some people are like that.
in expressing that you need more you are being proactive and positive. compromise on both of your parts will be required.
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