| A
age
26-29,
*
writes: I need some help here!!! I am a very shy person, there are a few people I talk to at school but I wouldnt call them friends there more like lets say "Aquantices" because I dont talk to anyone on the phone or anything or hang out w/ anyone I just stay at home all the time and my mom asked if had friends and i said "does it matter?", whenever she asked me that I got really upset.One time she even asked me if I was depressed. Im just an anti social. I dont go outside or to many public places. Theres a few people that I would really like to talk to and when they say hi I dont know what to say. I usually say hi back but I dont know how to start a conversation. My question is, When people talk to me what are some things I can say and talk about? Please any advice would help a lot Im going into 8th grade and it would be nice to have some friends to talk to and confide in.
View related questions:
depressed, shy Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, kylapw  +, writes (24 July 2010):
 Hey girl...this was totally me when I was in middle school...like, my best friend had just went with the "popular crowd" and I was kind of alone. I only had "acquaintances" too, and I never saw anyone outside of school. But maybe the people you think would never really hang out with you are really interested in you and want to be friends...that's what I found. And she's been my best friend for three years now. So, get to know these people, because I've also found that if you really get to know someone, you'll usually like them, no matter who the person is. And I know how hard it is to go up to someone and start a conversation...I still struggle with that now. I guess you could talk about how crazy that math teacher acted yesterday, or how funny your science teacher can be. You know, things they can relate to. I hope this helps. (:
A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (23 July 2010):
 In my experience most teenagers don't have much worth saying. You're not missing much by not talking to anyone. Save it for later.
...............................
A
female
reader, Oregongrl1 +, writes (23 July 2010):
Well sweeite, if they wer'e your good friends! you would have alot to talk about! like you said in your e-mail they are not your friends. there is nothing wrong with you just take a deep breath and relax and stop focusing so much on trying to learn how to talk to people it will come naturally. just be yourself and if you see someone and they say hi say hey, what you doing today and they may say something like not much say me either kinda bored, and they might say me too! say i know aint really much to do? and it will take off from there. don't worry you will be fine you are a kid and don't need to empress anyone they like you or they don't and if they do well just have fun! ok.
Sincerely:
Oregongrl1
...............................
A
female
reader, prbrowneyes +, writes (23 July 2010):
 Get to know one person, go out with them to social events, and get to know people. These days you cant trust people online. Honestly, I was very shy in middle school, I had no confidence, I thought I was unattractive. Then I started seeing the good things about me and worked on my confidence and looks. I went out there with friends and just started conversating with people and once you get in there and don't feel so stupid, it's a smooth ride after that. Don't be shy. Personality these days make so much of a difference even if your unattractive.
...............................
A
female
reader, The wife listener  +, writes (23 July 2010):
There's lots of things you can say to start a conversation honey, for starters ,when someone says Hi, say hi back and follow with a question or positive comment, such as how are you today, what school lessons have you got? or I like the way youve done your hair today etc. Watch how other people do it and try practising at home, in your bedroom. Keep your personality real and always remember a smile is always an attractive feature to wear, it tells people your inviting their friendship.
If you concentrate on feeling happy, you'l look it and then your confidence will grow.
Best of Luck
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2010): Just to add, shyness is something that can be worked on by the way. It's not a permanent, unchangable character trait. I used to be very shy when I was a kid but I was also really scared of water, as in swimming pools and the ocean.
I conquered my shyness the same way I did my fear of water, with a 'just jump in' attitude. Just keep trying and don't be afraid of failure, failure gets a pretty bad rap but it is in essence just an opportunity to learn a lesson. Only when people see failure as a defeat does it become a bad thing.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2010): How are at chatting to people online? Perhaps you could join some forums of things you're interested in, like minded people to discuss things you like to talk about. Say if you like hats, then join a hats discussion board or login to some chat rooms to dicuss hats.
That would give you a bit of practice on the topics of conversation side of things. You could try omegle, which is an anonymous chat site, where you talk to a complete stranger and if their being an ass you can cut them off guilt free.
Always think safety online, never give out your surname, phone number, address, school or any other identifying information. Other than your first name, country and city (if it's a big one, small town not a good idea)
In the real world things are pretty much the same, keep up to date with what's happening around you, things in the news, new music, new movies, bands playing in your local area etc. this stuff is very handy for small talk.
If you already have acquintances though, why not just try and develop a friendship with them, it would be a lot easier, all it would involve is actually going places and hanging out with them more. They already like you enough to talk to you and stuff, why not just give them more of your time.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (23 July 2010):
 Is there something you are passionate about? Books, movies, photography, art, cartoons? what not?
find a club or take a class (outside school) and observe others and learn from them. Social skills are vital.
If there are people you want to talk to, ask them about hobbies, music, movies ... see what they like, see if there is anything you guys got in common and go from there. You will have to "force" yourself in the beginning til you get used to it. But you can do it :) just give it a try.
...............................
|
