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female
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anonymous
writes: hi there,I am 32 married with 2 kids, but I have a VERY big problem..I'm fairly new to the area we live and have struck up several friendships with new woman but with one this is very different, I have fallen in love with her in a BIG way..This is not just a crush, i am a 32 year old woman these feelings I have are all consuming, I can't eat, sleep thinking about her..In fact it's making me ill..I think I have had suppressed sexual feelings over the years about woman, as when i look back over certain instances/attractions it really goes all the way back to when I was about 5..!! I am still in a certain degree attracted to men but I have known for a year or so don't love my husband in fact recently talked about separation and have taken steps towards that...I am really confused about how this woman feels towards me..She is married with 2 kids, and I have opened up to her that I might be bi, and she wasn't put off, in fact keep getting mixed signals from her, she is very tactile and coquettish when we talk about gay realtionships, but recently after her saying she wanted to run away as she is suffering from bad PND and has been stabbed in the back by a few friends ,I suggested had to be something else like being in denial about being bi, but she said def not..Do I tell her how i feel at the risk of sounding like a silly little school girl..?- but then I could move on and to be honest don't want her to think was an agenda to our friendship..HELP!!!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2008): Hello there.First of all, I can feel the pain of going through the suppression and choosing a life that is only right in the eyes of others, but not to one's self. I'm sure it is difficult for you to juggle your emotions between the new lady and your husband, as well as your children. I can tell that this is no small matter. You either choose the path that you feel right, but leave others behind and feel guilty about it or turn another cheek and continue suppressing yourself yet wondering, what if?Before you make any decision, reflect upon yourself on what you really want in life. If you feel that having your husband and children makes you happier, then keep them. On the other hand, if this lady had managed to ignite a spark that brought forth the real you, then keep her. I suggest that you talk to your husband first and reevaluate your marriage, seek couple's counselling if necessary. I'm sure there are things that were unfulfilling for you in you're marriage. You may regard this lady as a temptation to your marriage you need to handle her with care and up most respect too so that no party is left harmed.Though, like the others here, I do agree to a certain extent that it might be a bit unfair to your husband and children, but it is also unfair to the lady because you allowed your emotions to get carried away and unconsciously dragged her into your marriage. But above all, it is very unfair to YOU because you have to choose between 2 people that you have feelings for. Find yourself first, and the rest will follow. I wish you swift resolve with your predicament and may you find true happiness within yourself, as well as others, no matter how unconventional it may be.Sincerely,F
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (29 March 2006):
 I agree with the other Aunts, clean up one mess before you make another. With children involved one must always behave with utmost honor and integrity. Be a class act and get that divorce before you begin a new relationship.
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A
female
reader, bodylotion +, writes (29 March 2006):
 You are married so first of all you have t explain to our husband on what you feel.If you feel for a wom whom you only know to be your feind you will be throwing it all away for a crush.Mabe you feel that you want to try a new sex well tell your husband and don't cheat on him.Also don't let your children suffer.They need you there for them.
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A
female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (29 March 2006):
 You are still married. You need to end the relationship you are in before you move onto a new relationship. What you are planning isn't fair on your husband or your children.
Sorry but that just what I think.
x
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A
female
reader, Jadzia1127 +, writes (29 March 2006):
 In any marriage an affair is an affair. The choice to have one is always bad.
If you are separated or divorce then look into this relationship but not before.
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