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female
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*hilliepepper
writes: My ex fiance and I have a 17 month old duaghter who I have custody of. My ex is the love of my life and I broke up with him when I was three months pregnant. He was what I consider to be verbally and emotionally abusive. When I left him he refused to have anything to do with my pregnancy or help pay the bills. I moved back in with my parents where I still live today. We have been through a bitter battle for the first yea rof our daughter's life and both have been unfair to the other. As of the last seven months he has started to act like a daddy bit by bit. He seems as if his temper is in check. He is starting to fall in love with our daughter and she in love with him. I am still in love with him and he is with me, even after all that we have been through. Both of us are scared to give it another try. Especially me. I am afraid that deep down he might still be the man I left, not the one I feel in love with 14 years ago. We live 1500 miles apart and both have seperate lives but he comes to visit every other week and we talk daily. To make things even more complicated, his family hates mine and mine hate his and this is a big obstacle. What should I do?
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female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx  +, writes (4 January 2006):
 This is obviously very complicated and your family are only trying to protect you from someone who treated you badly enough for you to leave while you were pregnant with his child. I can't begin to understand how that must feel and I think you need to be really careful when deciding whether it's right to get back with him.
You have to listen to your instincts; does he seem to have changed? Is he the type of person who would really change or is he sly? I don't know you or him so this is down to you really. I don't think people really change, but then again, I'm a cynic. You know him well and I think you need to look within yourself and find out whether he really has changed. And remember, if you do take him back and he does the same again, I hope you never need to ask this question again.
As for your families, ignore them. They're only doing what they thinks best for their daughter/son etc. Sometimes this can seem like an obstacle but if getting back together is a good thing for both of you and you are both willing to make it work then they will soon come round to the idea once they see how serious you are.
Hope things go well. Good luck
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