A
female
age
41-50,
*ardia
writes:Why am I so afraid to lose him? We seem to be doing so well, but I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop (it's happened in every other aspect of my life, so why not in this relationship, too?). Every time we're together is bittersweet for me (so happy in the moment, so scared and sad about a future without him). I love him terribly and we have such good times together. But then I ruin it, making myself sad wondering when it's all going to end, thinking every time might be the last time. Lord knows I don't want it to lost him, but I'm afraid my projecting this vibe is going to be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Daniel the love doctor +, writes (9 September 2011):
 Well just know that you create your own reality. So even though in many cases I believe you should be a realist, you should also be (in large portion) an optimist as well.
Be the best person that you could be in the relationship, and don't worry how things may end up. As long as you know you gave your all- and did all you could on your part to have a good relationship, then it's out of your hands and up to God, fate, or whatever you believe in.
Enjoy your time with him and allow things to just flow. Don't continue put too much pressure on the outcome, because it's only going to make you more anxious and scared.
I wish you the very best! :^)
A
female
reader, Lola1  +, writes (9 September 2011):
If he has given you no indication that he is losing interest; if you get together and enjoy each other’s company, then it is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You might lose him if you keep it up.
The above paragraph sounds callus and that is not my intention, but there is not much else to say. You know what you are doing and you know that to avoid ‘fulfilling this prophecy’, you have to let go of your fears and enjoy what you have.
Sometimes things appear to go wrong in our lives. We hit hard times and we are not sure how we will make it through, but we are not defined by the hardships we encounter. We are defined by HOW we work through them.
You have to ask yourself; what kind of person do you want to be?
Do you really want to be the kind of person who crumbles under pressure and loses hope, sabotaging what is still good in your life, or do you want to be the kind of person who is strong and appreciates what she has, as little as it may be, inspired by it to make right what is wrong and find happiness, even when the odds are stacked against her?
I am sure it seems an impossible task at the moment, but if you can stop feeling sorry for yourself, I am confident you will find your way back on track.
Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2011): Yes, you're right. It will be if you start brooding around him and being overly anxious, ect. You should do some work on yourself when you're alone. Take time to focus on the good aspects of yourself and what you have to offer the world (not just this relationship.) Try exercises in thinking positively. Start a new hobby. Make a list of all the positive aspects in your life and everyday pick one and say "I am grateful today for __________."
Try to project a negative future, because if you borrow trouble it will come back to look for you.
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