A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:need some help please. have been with my bf for around 4 months. i am a virgin, he isnt. we really want to have sex but i am scared as i have heard it hurts, a lot! also (not to sound too graphic) but when he has fingered me he has said it feels very tight, i was relaxed as well. now i worry he wont fit in! i am also worried because the only part of my vagina that is sensitive is the clitoral area. inside does nothing for me.. does this mean i wont enjoy it? please help, thanks.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2007): heydont worry. i was a virgin too when i first slept with my guy, but he'd had sex a few times before he met me. i was worried like you are. i was with him 3 and a half months before we first had sex and i made sure that i loved him becasue i wanted it to be special, and it was. it sounds cheesey but we talked about it first (after we got a bit more intimate). i told him that i was only worried that it would hurt, and he told me that he was worried he'd feel guilty of taking away my virginity. anyway, when it came to it, he was so sweet, and even asked me if i wanted him to stop, and he never rushed me into anything.i was also worried that i wouldn't be any good, but just folllow your instinct. you'll learn what you like gradually, just make sure he doesnt make you do anything youe uncomfortable with. anyway, four years on we are still together, have our own house and are engaged.try not to worry xxxxxx
A
female
reader, CarrieMagdelene  +, writes (14 February 2007):
 A lot of my friends were concerned about pain. The thing to remember is that this is a natural pain, a pain that is put there by someone who loves you, who you love, and by someone who you trust.
A girls vagina can stretch to fit any man's penis, but the first two times did NOTHING for me what so ever but give me an emotional high. Relaxing is a good thing. It is a lot less painful that way, trust me. Also, the tightness you feel is your hymen, which is the thing covering with a little hole over your vaginal, where your menstrual fluid flows out of. Once this tears or stretches, that is 'popping' the cherry. You can do this on accident by horseback riding, using a tampon that is far too big, or by gymnastics. I stretched my on accident with a tampon when I was rather young because I wanted to see what a tampon felt like. Not pleasant!
You may also bleed during your first or second time, but not a lot. Just throw a towel under the two of you. :) Good luck! -Carrie
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (14 February 2007):
 The first couple of times you have sex you probably won't enjoy it to be honest with you. Most guys don't know what they're doing and as you know there will be pain the first time. The pain really isn't that bad. It doesn't last for long and it's true that the more you worry about it the more it will hurt. Ditto with the tense thing. There's a condition called vaginismus which is a 100% psychological condition where you get so tense about sex that you're uninentionally tightening up down there. The important thing to remember is that someday a baby's head might find its way out so there's plenty of room in there for your boyfriend. Make sure that before you have sex you've had plenty of clitoral stimulation so you're relaxed and lubricated and it should be much easier. And don't forget to use condoms and the pill to prevent nasty diseases and finding out about that baby's head thing too soon! Good luck.
CD
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