A  ,
*elsi
writes:I am a female in love with another female but I am not sure how she feels. We are both middle aged. We have the best time together and laugh a lot. She told me she only got married to get away from her step dad and has fallen out of love with her husband, in fact she was going to leave him 6 years ago but didn't because she still had a 16 year old son living at home. We have shared a lot with each other. We are now seperated by 1500 miles however we email all the time and are planning on getting together for a vacation just to see each other. The problem is I'm not sure if she thinks we are just best friends or if she has fallen for me. She writes things to me like "U R NOT SECOND FIDDLE!!!! U R FIRST!! ALWAYS!!" and she calls me "Sugar Dumpling" or "Honey Bunch" and she also says the following in her emails "U don't begin to know how much i miss you" and "I miss u like crazy!!! that is an under statement!!! 1500 miles is just too far!!!" She also signs off on her mails with stuff like "Remember I love and miss u lots!!! oxoxoxoxoxoxox"I'm not sure how to read her feelings. Can you help me out Agony Aunts???Thanks a million
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female
reader, hemé'oono +, writes (27 December 2006):
 If you have feelings for her and she's not in love with her husband then tell her. I would definitely approach it as though your friendship is the most important above all else. Just tell her that you love her and that you feel like that love could be growing beyond just friendship but that you don't want to jeopardize her friendship in any way. Or tell her that your feelings for her are more than just friendly. Or tell her that you are feeling like she is trying to let you know that there is more to her feelings than just 'friends'...let her know that you would like to talk about that. There are multiple ways to tell her without it seeming to be an all or nothing circumstance. If she feels the same way then she will tell you...and if she truly thinks you are the best but doesn't feel the same way about you then you will remain friends. If your relationship changes then she really wasn't the friend she claimed to be.
However, remember this, once you become lovers it is very hard to go back to being friends. Make very sure you are truly in love with her before taking this step.
A
female
reader, candycanecindy +, writes (27 December 2006):
You certanitly do love her but your scared that she might not love you in the way you do and she might get scared. Try taking it slowly. Try flirting with her give her a massage or something.
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