| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: I'm a lesbian, how do i tell my friend i love her?
View related questions:
lesbian Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, doublethink +, writes (30 July 2006):
 I'm not sure you should tell her. I know what it's like being there, and you really do have to approach it carefully.First, tell her you're gay. You might be able to guage from her response to that whether she feels anything other than friendship for you.If you have any reason to believe she feels the same way about you, then you could tell her about your feelings. If she doesn't seem to feel anything but friendship, though, I'd say DON'T DO IT! If you value the friendship, don't do it. I know confession is good for the soul, but you can confess to someone else!Having said that, I was in love with my friend for months, dumped my girlfriend and confessed my attraction (not love - didn't want to risk everything at once) and it all turned out well - nine years later we're still very happy. Hope you get the same.
A
female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (16 July 2006):
 Do you value this freindship at all and are you willing to risk it for the sake of a knockback....cos you will lose the friendship if she doesn't feel the same way.
x
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2006): Very ,very quietly and leave a door open to run through if she doesn,t feel the same.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2006): Three words: I love you
...............................
A
female
reader, ThePixie +, writes (10 July 2006):
 You are a lesbian, but what is the orientation of your friend? If i'm assuming she's straight then what is the likelihood of her ever returning your feelings and if you confess your love to her will it ruin a great friendship? She may react badly if she doesn't know you're gay, and if she does know and is okay with it, it may just make things strange and uncomfortable between the two of you. I don't know how old you are, but if I was you I'd head out to a couple of gay clubs and meet some new people, get chatting on the internet and out there meeting people. You may find someone who will return your love and you can be happy with.
...............................
A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (10 July 2006):
 First question: does she know your sexual orientation? Or is that sort of admission going to throw her for a loop?
Second question: do you know whether she's a lesbian too, or if she's always been straight?
Third question: is she involved with anyone else?
Unless she knows about your orientation, and she's indicated that she might be (or is) interested in other girls, and unless she's single right this instant, I wouldn't tell you that you "love her" at all.
I'm not trying to tell you not to have the attraction! But what I am saying is that hearing "I love you" from someone unexpectedly can be more scary and awkward than delightful.
If you know her well, and you're pretty sure that she'd be OK with seeing you romantically, why not just ask her out? Save the heartfelt admissions for later, when she might be more receptive.
It's really just a matter of putting yourself in her place. Be sure it's a case of two close friends falling for each other, rather than (if I can draw a parallel) a situation as if some man you only had a nodding acquaintence with showed up on your doorstep with a heart-shaped box of choccies and a ring. That sort of action would be a shock to you, and totally inappropriate.
If you think (or know) that she might be into you, take a small step, before you go for the big jump.
Hope this helps.
...............................
|
