A
female
age
36-40,
*anaisme
writes:I'm a bisexual girl and my problem is that i'm falling for my gay best friend (he's a guy).We've been friends for ages and I knew from the start he was gay but we've grown really close. I know many gay guys kiss girls and it doesn't mean anything and i've always been comfortable with him telling me he loves me, calling me boo or referring to me as his other half. We've often joked about going further than kissing too. He's had a few dates and they've stood him up, yes all of them and i've tried seeing other people too. We had an argument two nights ago, it only lasted about twenty minutes then he returned and said 'I de-friended you to see if I can live without you but I can't'. We haven't spoken since.I don't want to bring up my feelings for him knowing he won't be able to reciprocate them and my friends think us being so close isn't healthy and that's why none of our dates have worked out. Do I tell him how I feel and risk ruining things or do I keep quiet and just enjoy the ride so to speak?He's 20 and i'm a little older so i''m pretty sure he's past the confused about his sexuality stage.
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male
reader, CaringGayGuy +, writes (29 April 2010):
 I know that you like this gay guy but he's gay he's going to be nice to you and comfort you that what gays do. I don't blame you for falling for him but maybe the fact you've argued is good, now you can get over him and realise he likes guys and he see's girls as friends and you're nit the only one who's had this problem but just let him be him! You'll fond someone who likes you too but if you keep loving him it will turn into unreturned love the painful of all, before this has a chance to get to that step get a girl ir boy friend! You'll get over him eventually! Good Luck!
-CaringGayGuy x
A
male
reader, gaymarriedlesbian  +, writes (28 April 2010):
While it could ruin your friendship, it sounds like something worth considering. You just might be surprised how affectionate lovemaking with a soul mate can be. It is tender and fulfilling in a different kind of way. While it may not have the sheer intensity of pure unadulterated lustful sex, it does give a very satisfying and genuinely rewarding spiritual connection with another human being. I would not jump to say absolutely not. In fact, I would probably be more inclined to say go for it if you both feel that you can't live without each other.
The reason I say this is because I am a gay man and my female wife is a lesbian. We have a very happy marriage together because we are soul mates. We have not been apart for longer than a couple of days since the day we met. It is by far the most satisfying and love filled relationship that I've ever had. In fact, I have not had a relationship at all like this one before. Had my wife and I decided to not marry or become intimate because of how we label ourselves and each other solely based on our respective sexual orientations, then we might have missed out on a once in a lifetime relationship.
Let us know how things go! :-)
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A
female
reader, chickenpuddles +, writes (27 April 2010):
It could potentially ruin your close friendship which sounds great. I felt a bit like this before, it was different in a way cos I thought I had feelings for my best friends alto she was another girl and was straight! But it turned out I didn't like fancy her but the closeness I felt and the needyness was love as a best friend not anything more. Do you feel it is more than friendship and if it is is it worth risking your really special friendship for?
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