A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:So here it is. I'm thirteen. I have a boyfriend. My mom doesn't exactly approve. She's fine with me dating but she only wants me holding hands. For my age, what is acceptable in a relationship? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2008): I understand that your mums only protecting you but your 13 so its really your choice if you want to kiss him or snog him then your mum should support you because your not little anymore.
Just remember its you life not hers. and what ever you choose it will be the right one.
Good luck xx
A
female
reader, lexilou  +, writes (2 August 2008):
 A bit of hand holding, giggling and a little kiss is more than enough at your age. She is just trying to protect you x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2008): yes yes, i fully agree with your mum hun :D my sister is 14 and gave birth to a child back in may, her boyfriend is 17 now, just be careful, we know shes your mum and you wont listen to her because no one listens to their mum, mums are always wrong, be careful and dont let any guy take advantage of you no matter what, holdin hands is enough :D and the odd kiss is ok lol shh :P me and my boyfriend have been together for 8 months, im 16 and hes 18 and we still only kiss lol. have fun while your young :D x
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2008): your 13 just holding hands is for three year olds, its obivous she still see you as a little girl and wants to protect you. But I was kissing girls when I was five but I was 11 when I first snogged a girl but nothing serious with girls started happening untill I was 14 but don't for a seconded think that means u should but ur certainly old enough to be doing more than holding hands but don't do anythng ur uncomforable with even if he wants to. I kno a few girls my age who had sex for the first time when they were 13 and one was even 12 and they all say they had never regretted anything more, so yeah leave the sserious stuff till ur a couple of years older but snogging and innconence hand up top is fine (only if ur fine with it) but don't worry if you want to take things slow and wait don't think ur werid cause I know girls my age who havnt really done anything with guys and no one thinks anything of it. Hope this was useful and btw if I'm 15 and I'm a guy :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionoh my. Why i only meant kissing. I do not plan on having sex of any sort. and i won't let him touch me. Thanks guys. =]
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2008): i agree with ur mom..becuase at age 13 all u do is hold hands and kiss but thats about it dont let him touch u
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2008): She is absolutely right hun, and if he tried anything further then you have the choice between breaking up with him and reporting him to the police. DON'T let him touch you in an unacceptable way. You are a queen and he must understand and respect that.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (1 August 2008):
Holding hands, snogging, and he might try and get his hand up your top but only let him if you feel comfortable.
She's probably thinking that if you are in a place alone where you can go any further than that then there is nothing to stop you going all the way.
Your mum still thinks of you as her little girl, which will change as you grow but unfortunately mum's take a while to notice.
Her house her rules though so you'll just have to respect that.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
male
reader, Jamer70 +, writes (1 August 2008):
 At 13 i agree with your mum holding hands and maybe lighter kissing is as far as it should go. Not to insult you(or myself being a teen) but alot of people do one thing, then move on to the next quickly and before their ready. Next thing their posting questions on here about a stupid mistake, though im not saying you will. Beleive me an old man (at 18) being a kid is great enjoy it, dont rush it. And your mum is right
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2008): Well, to be honest, you are still much too young to date; you should be having fun with your friends: Going to the mall, having sleep-overs. But if your mother approves of you dating, that's her decision and it's also good that's she's restricted your physical contact to holding hands. But be careful, if your boyfriend isn't as glorius as you think he is, he might put pressure on you to do something more...and that will be scary.
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, StudentOfLife  +, writes (1 August 2008):
 Depends on the person.
I didn't have a girlfriend since I was 19, and it felt as if it was the right time. Sooner would have been too soon, later would have been too late.
What I found not acceptable is going out with someone just for sex and I don't think the age matters for this but only the time in which you are in the relationship and if you're ready for it of course.
The younger you are, the longer it should take in order to do something in a relationship.WHy
My opinion of course.
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A
female
reader, DoodlePixie +, writes (1 August 2008):
I think you're mum's decision is a sensible one - she is purely looking out for you.
You're still very young, so there is no need to rush anything - if it just so happens that after a while you and your boyfriend decide to kiss then make sure it is at a time you're comfortable, not because you're pressured or wanting to rebel against your mother's wished.
These days people lose their virginity younger and younger simply because they are not sure where to draw the line with a boyfriend or girlfriend. It's a case of 'one thing leads to another' and this is probably why you're mum is worried. If you're boyfriend ever pressures you to go further than you're comfortable with then he's obviously not respectful of you. And remember, no matter what happens between you and you're boyfriends you're mum will always be there for you.
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