A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend and I have been having quite a few issues lately and have broken up a few times just within the past couple of weeks. We both made some mistakes and I'm trying to make things alright again.I've been trying to get her to give us another chance, but she's been so hesitant because she's scared of fighting and breaking up again. Today she confessed that she kind of has feelings for one of her guy friends, because he's nice and treats her right, which is what I used to do before we started fighting so much. I care for her so much and I'd do anything for her, but I got caught up in my own problems and it made more problems for both of us. It seems to me like he's just being so nice because she's so vulnerable right now.It hurts me so bad to hear this from her, but I blame myself for letting things get this far. I just got scared and didn't know how to react in certain situations and it led to fights. My question is: IF we do somehow get back together, would it be ok for her to still talk to this guy and be friends with him? I don't want him to ruin our relationship but I don't want to control her and tell her who she can and can't be friends with. I just know if she still talks to him she will still feel for him. The second I make another small mistake she will be thinking about him and I don't know what to do.Please, if you have any advice let me know.
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female
reader, Jo Chris +, writes (2 July 2009):
If she has feelings for a someone else, talking to him will only add to the temptation of wanting something more. It wouldn't be adviseable for their communication to continue.
However, it doesn't sound as if you are in the best position to make this request right now. Doing so may actually cause more harm than good. Plus, if she is drawn to him because he is nice and treats her well, then it sounds like the easiest answer is for you to do the same.
Taking a break might not be a bad thing either. That would be a decision only you can make. The good news is that once you break up...It is still possible to get back together with your ex. In fact some of the techniques used to help you get back together with your ex may actually help you to fix the problems you are currently having.
Good luck to you both
Jo Chris
http://www.answerstogetbacktogetherwithyourex.blogspot.com/
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