A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Heres the low down. Was with my girlfriend for nearly a year, she was moving to australia and we still stayed together long distance. She split up with me around 6 weeks ago, completely out of the blue telling me she didnt love me anymore, then i find out shes gone back to her ex - which was a huge shock as i know about her ex and i can only think that its for comfort aspect no more, as she is there and im in the UK. Anyway we had a holiay booked before this with a couple of friends and so I have just come back from this. I was the most uncomfortable holiday ever, we had spoke beforehand about the situation and it all seemed fine with us, we were chatting and laughing and just generally the same people we had always been. But on this holiday things were v.different, she seemed a hugely different person, and it confused me. She basically ignored me the whole time and was rude. Now I know that it was akward and it didnt help me that her 'girlfriend' turned up at the airport when we were meeting - to me thats just plain wrong to shove my face in it. But she wouldnt talk to me on holiday, so i texted her when we got back and said i didnt understand why she would treat me like shit the whole time, when it was her that has been in the wrong the whole time, and i shouldnt be made to feel like im the one that cheated etc. She has said that she cant be friends with me because she has to do the right thing for her, and for us, and its too complicated to be friends. I guess I just want your opinion as i am very confused... if she wants her ex and has no feelings for me, then why is it compicated and why does she feel that she cant speak to me ever again. We were so close, she said things to me that no one has ever said and suddenly out of the blue shes back with her ex and doesnt want to even try to remain friends... its not like were even in the same country. I wont lie i have found the whole thing very very hard and i loved her very much, but i still care about her even though she has hurt me badly. I just dont know what to think anymore, and i really dont know if she does care about me at all. She said before holiday that she still loves me and cares about me, but this holiday she was a whole different person - someone ive never seen before, and i wonder if anyone could shed some light on this, as i will never be able to now. Thankyou, sorry its so long.
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her ex, long distance, on holiday, split up, text Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2009): hey,That sounds really rough! I know what it's like to have someone that you love just pull the plug on your relationship, and how hard it is to have so many unanswered questions about what went wrong. I think the only thing you can do, in this case, for right now, is to stop calling her, if you haven't already, and stop all forms of communication with her. Clearly she isn't up for discussing the situation in more detail, and it will only hurt you more to try and talk to someone who is like a different person now. Who knows, maybe she'll come around after she doesn't hear from you... but I would think twice before answering the phone. Just know that you will probably get more clarity on the situation later, and that you will feel much better about it once you feel more in control of your emotions.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2009): So she didn't have a chat with you about things that are bothering her. Then she was vindictive. Then she broke it off. Then she went back to an ex. Have I got this right? And you've been together for a year. And that's why with some guys, they don't want a partner anymore. They are put off girls. Who knows she may come back. If she's like this to you, she'll be like this to another. She may lose both of you. You have to back off away from her. You have to be with others and receive treatment you deserve. How dare she!
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