A
male
age
41-50,
*ickey Church
writes:I worked closely with a female supervisor at my office. Very quickly we both fell in love. But she was married to a co-worker, who I got on with quite well. It was difficult because it was a small office and I'd just started there and knew if things went bad, I would be the one to get sacked.Things had to be handled carefully. One day she revealed to me she wanted a baby and asked me what I thought. I said wait a couple of months until you have your life together then go for it! (I was basically telling her to wait for us to get together - because at that point nothing had physically happened between us). However she came off the pill, didn't tell her husband her plans to have a baby and got pregnant by him! It broke my heart - because I thought that was the end of us. Now she was both married and pregnant. But no, she really came after me full-force then. She didn't love her husband any more and wanted me to bring up the child. I don't understand! If she loved me why would she have a baby with a man she no longer cared for? In two more months we would have been a couple and it would have been MY baby. She seemed to have used her husband as a sperm-bank and also had never given me a choice in the matter! I feel terrible now because I walked away from the situation - and I'm still in love with her! I need your perspective on this situation as I'm lost.
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co-worker, fell in love, sperm, the pill Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Mickey Church +, writes (14 September 2015):
Mickey Church is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your thoughtful replies. I can see clearer now. I have left the job - as has she, to have the baby. By accident the whole office found out we had feelings for each other (although nothing physical actually happened) and she now has to live with a husband who knows the truth. It's a shame because in so many ways she was a wonderful woman - but there was something broken there. It's been 6 months and I'm still desperately in love with her.
A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (14 September 2015):
 This is a very sad situation and as part of your healing I would suggest that you quietly look around for another job.
In all other respects Follow the Rabbit has definitely echoed my thoughts entirely on this one.
Because no matter how much you love this woman she is capable of hurting those closest to her. This is because, by her own actions, she demonstrates that she is capable of being deceitful and manipulative. I pity her innocent child and her deceived husband.
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A
female
reader, followtheblackrabbit  +, writes (14 September 2015):
 I think you did the right thing. It may hurt now cause you still have feelings but your actions will save you a lot of regret later. This woman has no respect for anyone. She went off the pill without telling her husband and basically forced fatherhood on him, giving him absolutely no say. Then, she comes back to you and says she'll leave her husband and have you raise the baby she conceived in deceit. She also took any and all choices away from you. She planned to leave her husband for you I assume in those next months, waiting a few months is nothing! She could of done everything properly, left her husband without physically cheating and you could have been together without taint. But now, she's put things in motion that cannot be undone. I feel terrible for her husband too! Think of what would have happened-she gets pregnant without consulting him and then, takes his child away for another man to raise! Imagine that being done to you...You may love her but she's a selfish person who probably would have hurt you too. And then, there's the baby. He/she would have been denied their biological dad so you admit is a good guy. You dodged a bullet! Be grateful. Take some time to heal and please, keep away from married/taken woman and date women who are single and honorable. Situations like this hurt everyone involved in one way or the other. Good luck
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