A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have been with a women for 9 1/2 years and she just broke up with me and now I have some much hurt it is hard to deal with. I am no angel and have never finalized my divorce. She says that is not the reason. Her mom passed away 2 months ago and she is not happy and needs to find herself. I have stood by her through her divorce , child custody battles, family members deaths and bouts with cancer and have never wavered from my love for her. I wonder if there is any chance to take care of my divorce and try and give her time so we can get back together or should i just suck up the hurt and try and get on with my life. She has kids that I have been in their lives as long and she still lets me talk to them but not do any thing with.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2008): Her 'needing space to find herself' can cover a multitude of reasons why she broke from you. I doubt that you suddenly energising yourself and getting your divorce settled is going to do anything! Best to take it slowly, keep in touch, don't pressure her or bribe her. And then, in time, if and when she emerges from her stuff, she may feel she still wants you. You've got to go with the flow but stay in reach of the water, if you know what I mean.
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