A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Me and my girlfriend have been going out over 4 years, she is in her 2nd year at university studying psychologly, it's been 2 weeks since she split up with me, I called her last night 2 see how she is doing, she says she still thinks this is a permamnent thing but she's not giving a certain yes or no! She also says she doesn't know if she is happier this way yet. Since the split we have been in contact with each other quite a lot - so I'm thinking if I don't contact her, will she change her mind, is it still too soon? Does she think this way because it's only been 2 weeks? and given time she will change her mind? please help ! ! !
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2008): I think the no contact rule is excellent, sarcy24. Just had a look at it now. The best tip I pcked up from there is to treat the whole story and deal with it as if it was an addiction, an obsession, an illness ( that might sound harsh but the whole suffering is certainly not healthy). I quit smoking 16months ago cold turkey and I only succeeded because I have replaced the 'comforting' cigarette with jogging, running, and I focused on the benefits and fitness that running will bring. Now I am ready to run my first marathon, and the stupd cigarettes that I 'loved' but harmed me are gone. Do you agree with this analogy?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni would just like to say thanks very much for the replys!!!
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A
female
reader, sarcy24 +, writes (12 November 2008):
 I would say don't contact her at all if you want her back. That will get her wondering what you are doing, what you are up to, why you haven't called etc. Do a search for the three month 'no contact' rule which does very often work. This explains what you should and shouldn't be doing, how to cope with not calling for such a long time and how to cope when you do get in contact again. Personally I have found even after three weeks no contact, the other party begins to warm to you and are more receptive to talking and seeing you again. If you are always there, ringing and being too keen it does tend to put people off so my advice would be research this rule and leave her alone for the time being. It is not a closed door with her so she will be back in touch in her own time.
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