A
female
age
41-50,
*dizzle
writes:I am happy in my current relationship, which is a serious one, but for a month i have had this other guy on my mind. We work together and for some reason i feel like i could actually cheat on my boyfriend with him. I have no idea if he likes me in a sexual way. What does this say about my current relationship? Should we be together if i can see myself with another man? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, jdizzle +, writes (26 January 2008):
jdizzle is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks maverick, for helping out.the answer to most of your q's is yes. but we do not see each other as much as i would like, even though we live together.i understand the whole thing about 'new' and all and i am hoping this will all go away. the one thing that i ask myself is about the future and my future children. i was raised as an outdoors type, fishing hunting, getting dirty and all, so these are things i want my husband to do as well, i want HIM to take them fishing, etc.
and thank you as well peoriaman, we could communicate better.
A
male
reader, maverick  +, writes (25 January 2008):
 Hello there,
The answer to this this question largely depends on the nature and state of your relationship with your current boyfriend.
In short, you are asking two different questions tha should be answered in order.
- Should I leave/cheat on my boyfriend?
- Should I get with this guy?
Firstly, you should think about your current relationship? Does it make you happy? Does he tend to your needs? Do you feel unloved? Seeing each other enough? Do you have a lot invested in this relationship? The main point to think about first is you and your boyfriend - and what's wrong with him or your relationship? If the relationship has fallen apart or its not fulfilling for you then its time to move on. However if you are getting everything you want but missing a few aspects, then consider talking about these with your boyfriend.
After you have answered the first question you should only then look at the second question.
The mistake people seem to make (and my friends are included) is that you meet someone else attractive and get taken in by the novelty. You become infatuatied with something new, people then jump to answer the second question before they've figured out the first one.
I've found that there will always be someone funnier, more attractive and probably more stable than the girl I am with - however its better for me to take time in a loving relationship than flit to the newest thing (even with a short attention span like mine). And just to clarify all men and women can fantasise and imagine themselves being with other partners but those that make better long-term partners won't act out on this impulse.
If you were to leave your current boyfriend for someone "better" then that will stick in your mind that you're always on the look out for someone better, and then someone better still, and then someone else... and you might find it harder to be happy in long-term relationship in future.
Maybe I've gone on a bit too long. Well, if you want to leave your boyfriend - leave because there is something not right in the relationship.
Good luck though!
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