A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Quick question. If a boyfriend punches a wall when he's mad does that mean he's abusive? I've heard it does but I was wondering if anyone has a boyfriend or is a boyfriend who gets mad and punches something but would never punch a female. Thanks.
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male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters +, writes (25 September 2009):
 IT is going to turn into abuse.
Take a break and get him help. when he is fixed you guys can see eachother.
You can talk on the phone until then.
but i recommend you break it off entirely.
It is going to be bad
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2009): I am starting to be really scared of my husband's anger issues. He yells a lot, usually over nothing, but has also frequently punched walls or hit himself in the head. On Friday night, he got mad, again over nothing, and punched the windshield of his car (from the inside), causing a huge crack. He says he would never hit me, that he was trying to break his hand to punish himself. He didn't think he hit the windshield hard enough to break it, though. I am terrified. Should I leave?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2009): just as tears of pink said, that's how it starts. In the beginning he will punch a wall or a windshield (every car we owned together wound up with a broken windshield and a missing rearview mirror. I remember the first time I witnessed him raging, he started punching himself in the head. The next time it was a wall (I always kept a can of spackle on hand and hung a lot of pictures) But eventually, it wasn't the walls I was covering up...it was my body, my face (lots of make-up to hide bruises and black eyes. It is a definite red flag! He has anger problems and when that anger turns into rage...lookout! He is not safe to be around. You may say "just because your guy turned out that way, doesn't mean mine will" That's probably what I would've said 20 years ago. But believe me, I have learned so much about anger and rage...I know what I am talking about. It's a gradual progression that will pick up speed and escalate before you know what's happening!
Good Luck and Stay Safe!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2009): I think it depends on the person really. Im a large guy 6'2 315lbs very muscular and was a collge footbal lineman. At one point in time i backhanded a door in our house off the hinges. Would i ever hit my fiancee. NO! Some people have to take frustrations out in different ways. I would definitely say he has an anger issue cause i did. If he ever hits you leave immediately and never come back. Once hes taken that step there wont be any going back. Get him into some anger counseling.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (3 January 2009):
 No he isn't abusive in the sense that he doesn't beat you he beats the wall. Which is anger issues, however the fact that he will punch a wall is not just anger it's about control, he wants you to be scared. That can so easy lead to violence.
He should seek help, my guess is, he think there is nothing wrong in what he does.
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