A
female
age
30-35,
Sophie Anne
writes:Idealistic love is attraction, intimacy, perfection. Realistic love is attraction AND attachment, intimacy AND commitment and perfection found in imperfection. Everyone wants to be in idealistic love. Fact: It only happens in fantasies, movies and brief encounters with sexy strangers. Where does idealistic love stem from? Fact: A fairytale. 'The princess and the prince lived happily ever after and never fought, swore, punished their children, found faults in one another or divorced'. It's a lovely daydream that we all imagine having one day before waking up to find we've let a little drool escape its way out of our mouth and onto our pillows. Realistic love does not JUST involve the first stages of attraction. (Think any romantic American chick flick propaganda) Butterflies, sweaty palms, jumbled words and blushing followed by an overwhelming desire to get 'physical' is usually confused with love instead of what it really is...lust. Unfortunately, some people, (the majority being teenagers) mistake these emotions for three words that are too loosely thrown around:''I love you''. People are doubtful in staying together more than a month if the foundations of a relationship are purely based on animal attraction. Realistic love can mean chalk and cheese. I've always heard the saying ''Love is having things in common'' and the quote does have some credibility because unfortunately you'll never find someone like Prince Charles falling in love with a prostitute. (Well, actually. I don't know about that one :P) Still, cases of 'Pretty Woman' are purely fictional treats for a hungry imagination. However, having said all that: Love should transcend race, religion, gender, class and age (Unless perhaps you're an elderly pensioner and she's just turned thirteen). I mean, why would you commit to someone who is a mirror image of yourself? I see so many strangely fitting similiarities in young couples. I keep asking myself why I've never seen a black and Oriental couple. People sometimes seem to excuse their discriminating preferences on the grounds of religion and it's so tragic to see lovers part because of personal belief. Realistic love means getting angry. I don't mean small insignificant disagreements settled with a ''Let's forget about it'' followed by a quick peck and a cup of Tetleys, I mean: Passionate arguments that sometimes end in tears, slamming doors and...well, words you really wish had never escaped out of your mouth. We believe that aggression is unhealthy but there's a difference between domestic violence (Homer strangling Bart) and a good ole yelling match with your lover. Infact, couples that bottle their rage and silently fume are probably more likely to snap later on in life and do something regretful...(Think body bags and steak knifes). Anyone that's been with their significant other for a reasonable amount of months/years will know what it's like to truly hate the other person and experience the climax of their fury. (Unless you're dating one of the Stepford Wives and then it's smooth sailing all the way... with a few technical malfunctions). Realistic love means appreciating other scents while resisting the taste. Unless you're Mother Theresa, there have been moments where you've noticed someone for their *ahem* physical assets, even if you bear a ring on one finger. It feels natural but sometimes it's considered sinful. Why? In 2008, statistics showed 6,697,254,041 people lived in the world. And out of that astounding, nonsensical amount of humans, you chose one person for the beauty you saw in them. That however is not to say that you're forbidden from glancing at the pool boy's pert bum as he bends over. It just means resisting the urge to reach out and pinch it. Realistic love does not mean plowing through hundreds of people to find 'the one'. I'm pretty avid in supporting monogamy, call me old fashioned but I do believe that the old wives tale our parents insist on telling us of ''Dating lots of people until you're older'' isn't 100% correct. In some cases, it is helpful, because we probably WON'T end up marrying Billy with the red hair and braces that we so fondly remember snogging behind the bike shed in Grade 6. (General example, folks! There was no Billy in my childhood!). However if you're actually fortunate to find someone who you love to the extent of not imagining ever being without, then why throw that away because of someone else's advice? Your parents only want what's best for you, but sometimes they forget: They're basing their beliefs on their own experiences. Not ours. Most importantly: Realistic love is born over years not days. It's considered impossible to actually sincerely love a person after knowing them for a short period of time. Even if you've known a person all your life, whether it be brother or boyfriend, girlfriend or sister, you may realise you don't know everything about them, just yet and still find new reasons to love them.
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female
reader, Rebecca Bloomwood  +, writes (3 January 2016):
 I think every individual's "perfect or ideal" is different.Everyone has their own sense of idealistic love, for example an idealistic date for me can be both of us in pyjamas a movie marathon with tubs of popcorn and a comfortable couch.For you it may be a candle light dinner under a full-moon starry night . Therefore , everybody's "perfect" is different and if the "perfect" is different then the idea of "realistic love" will also be different, for example some people may think that realistic love is when your partner makes love with you every night or brings you a lot of gifts .this may seem materialistic to you but this can be realistic for someone else whereas many of us feel realistic love is present where there is no materialism and no signs of selfishness and only true feelings. Hence, I feel every individual's sense of idealistic and realistic love is different and this is a social construct ensued by fairy tales or movies.
A
female
reader, Sophie Anne +, writes (22 September 2011):
Sophie Anne is verified as being by the original poster of the question @VSADDICT. Well, thanks heaps bella! I'm glad to have been of help. I'll keep you posted ~ Sophie Anne
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A
female
reader, VSAddict +, writes (22 September 2011):
 I love this article. I think you make some good points and it's making me question my feelings for someone in my life.
Hope you write more :).
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