A
male
age
51-59,
*oubtingluv
writes: I recently started dating the most amazing woman I have ever met. I am 36 yrs old, and in all my years I have never met a woman as precious and unique as her. Problem is, after two months, I ended up showing her a side of me I never knew existed or had: jealousy. I've never once before in previous relationships had the need nor desire to be jealous for anyone, but it crept upon me and I let it control my attitude and character. I ended up hurting her in a way I never intended...in a way I normally would never treat a woman I love. She broke up with me in fear that I was trying to control her and isolate her from her friends. Please, believe me, that was not nor has ever been my intentions!! So what I'm seeking is advice on how to explain to her: first, that people are capable of change; second, I have learned from my mistakes and would NEVER want to hurt her again nor suffer in tears has I have been; third, that second chances are but chances to correct the mistakes previously made in the beginning. Any advice would be helpful. And any opinions welcome.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2009): I completely understand your problem. The key thing is to try to show her that you can change before you try to re-start the relationship. That way she feels no pressure to be with you and has her own space to think whether she wants to become involved with you again. Apologize, but not profusely. Tell her you know you made a horrible mistake, and you never knew you could be jealous before. Tell her that she means a lot to you and you wrongly acted on your insecurities. Then ask her for a second chance, just one chance, to prove to her how much you care and that you never want to hurt her like you did again. And make it clear to her that you don't want to control her, too. I hope this helps some. Good luck.
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