A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am a 24 year old guy and I am suffering from constant anxiety and what I think is depression. I can't stop thinking about all the stupid things I have done in my life but rather than laughing them off I have caused a link between them so whenever I think of one it inevitably leads to all my other regrets and I feel sick and panicky. No matter what I do I can't escape them and I can't help but think I must be the stupidist person alive. The problem is that at the time I didn't realise they were stupid things to do. The list includes, getting drunk and naked (subsequently everyone has pictures on their phones and constantly remind me and threatening to show my family), and getting drunk while travelling and having my passport and bank cards stolen while in an unwanted compromised situation with a girl (this one I have lied about to everyone and said I was drugged and robbed. I'm almost starting to believe it myself, I've lied so much!), those I think are my biggest 2 but lots and lots of other things both related to alcohol and general stupidity. The thing is I don't consider myself to be that sort of person and I hate thinking back to them. The last 5/6 years I just feel like I've been in a black hole. I've not really felt there is anything I can do in life, and I've negelected socialising as it reminds me of stupid things and I'm embarrassed to be in other people's company. I then hate myself for worrying too much and not getting on with things. I'm self concious to the point that I irritate the hell out of my family with little niggling problems I have both superficial and mental. I feel I have zero confidence and the skeletons in my closet keep me that low, in fact, I can't even keep some of my skeletons in the closet because everyone knows what a joke I am! I really sometimes wish I could just disappear and start fresh somewhere else where I can be the quiet shy person I want to be and not the fool in the spotlight I have become. This is a bit of a ramble but I really don't know what to do. Without wanting to sound melodramatic I just can't be bothered with any of it any more and don't really see a point to any of it. I can't sleep, I feel tired and sick all the time and I'm constantly feeling stressed and anxious with nothing but the past to worry about. How can you forget and move on when you either have it shoved in your face all the time or can barely admit to yourself some of the things you've done. I've got numerous friends but feel so alone. I'm sick of being lonely - I can't make new friends without old friends ruining it for me and I can't even begin to start a relationship which I so desperately want! I hate myself too much and everyone knows you have to like yourself before anyone else does. I'd just be a burden in a reletionship with all my baggage. I know all the general advice about not caring what other people think and believing in myself but it makes no difference I'm just getting worse. I'm worried about my family too - I think they're depressed and I make it worse by acting sulky and misserable all the time. I can't help it! I just want to be alone and not talk to anyone! but obviously I want it all to go away and for me to get asperations and plans and for my family to be happy (or at least not be misearable because of me). I've also got a few medical problems such as meniers which have fuelled my anxiety but I can't explain the lethargy and constant headaches and general sick feeling. This is happening every day! What can I do to stop it!? Am I as bad as I think I am for what I have done? Am I alone in being this stupid? I really have rambled! Sorry for that and thank you so much if you have given your time to read this! Any words of wisdom, advice or if anyone has similar feelings please let me know, it would be so very appreciated! Thank you once again for your time!
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confidence, depressed, drunk, move on, shy Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2009): You Poor Baby! We have all done stupid things while drinking/drunk!
If I dredged up every stupid episode in my life and dwelled on it, I would drive myself crazy! And I have always used humor to help me through the rough times. And there have been plenty of rough times in my life!
I think you need to see a doctor...describe what you have told us! There are medications to help you through this. The worst thing to do is let it go untreated! It will not just go away!
I know the symptoms you have described here. I have been going to the same thing myself. But because I recognize what's going on, I am taking steps to get better. You can too! You are not alone! You are not unique! You are depressed! Please talk to a professional! They can help. There is lots of help out there. Do some research and you will find it!
Good Luck!
Britt
A
female
reader, love301  +, writes (15 May 2009):
everyone makes mistakes. everybody has done stupid things in their life. You are not alone. Seek god and everything will began to improve in your life. Next see a doctor and/or cousler if you have not already for your health issues. Find new friends!!! Start all over. If you are constantly around negative people who consist on bringing up your past you will continue to feel negative. Find true friends who accept the person you are and become. Build a better relationship with your closest family members. Talk to them about your problems/let them know that u want to change and spend time with them. Most importantly, put the past behind you and move on! Be strong and make goals for yourself. Find out exactlty what you want to change and start slowly to make it happen. I hope I helped at least a little. Best wishes :)
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