A
female
age
36-40,
*lice209
writes:HeyI had a very loving relationship with my ex boyfriend, we split up over a year ago and things initially were very amicable, we split up cos of stress from work (he's never been good at talking about problems, I didn't realise what had been going on until we'd split up). We carried on loving each other and staying very close. To cut a long story shprt, it wasn't all roses. Our feelings often got in the way amnd when he told me that he thought it would be a good idea to start seeing other people I got very upset and we ended up not speaking for a few weeks. It took a couple of months but things improved and got back on track (but he does have a girlfriend now).I started to see another guy, which kinda fizzled out and my ex was there telling me that guy didn't deserve me, I could do better etc. My ex also popped round to have a chat and told me he'd been made redundant (I was one of the first to know, he hadn't told his family at this point) so I felt pretty privelidged to feel that he could talk to me, as he is so closed - he just doesn't open up. So ever since then he's been texting me a lot. Nearly everyday, we had a chat about feelings and he said that he missed me and still loved me... then later he started brazenly flirting with me. When I asked like what it meant he started playing it down, but he'd started it! So that confused me. Anyway I went round his house last Tuesday to watch a DVD and have a take out. I ended up bursting into tears over what's happened to me lately (things with this other guy, crashing my car, having it broken into, stress at university) and he pulled me into a hug, wiping my tears away. Telling me things would get better. Anywho, to cut a long story short I fell asleep on his chest, woke up and he was stroking my face and tracing my lips. One thing led to another... We didn't have full sex mind. After it'd happened he kinda froze. Couldn't barely look at me, didn't wanna hug me. I took this to mean he felt guilty so I said some things to try and make him feel better cos he wouldn't tell me what was wrong, he just shrugged his shoulders ie, just blame me, it didn't mean anything, don't do anything stupid... He walked me to the door and I got a hug and I said I would understand if he didn't wanna talk to me for a while.I text him the next morning asking how he was, acting normal like nothing had happened. That was a week ago and I've not heard a thing. He's never cheated before. So please don't think badly of him. He asked me to do what I did but it was heat of the moment stuff and it just happened. It seemed natural at the time. I do love him, he knows that, i've told him.If i'm honest i'm more scared about losing him as a friend that trying to source him back as my boyfriend - that would be the icing on the cake. The sad fact is we are/were best friends... I'd hate to think after spending months working on our friendship to get it back to close to what it was it would be over now :o( Please help!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2008): After reading the story I am sorry to say that you can never just be friends with him.your feelings run too deep.It would be better if you can make a clean break and move on with your life.I hope you decide to do so.If you don't its going to make things very complicated for you guys and your partners in the long run.All the best!
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