A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes: Hi, I have been seeing a lovely guy for bout 2 months now but not had many dates cos of his work pattern - he works day and nite shifts. He is really lovely and we always end up having a good laugh and seem to like a lot of the same things. We met online so have no history in common like friends etc. The bottom line is - I would like to take the relationship onto a physical level but all I ever get is a goodnight kiss, yet he must be intersted on some level or we wouldn't keep having dates. He did stay over at mine after a late night out for his birthday - but in the spare room. HELP! How do I move things on from here? I am at a loss! Please answer this - I am losing the will to live!!!
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female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (15 November 2008):
I think Emily gave an exceptional answer. He could be afraid--doesn't want to take things to the physical level if he's not getting any clues from you. Don't come off as desperate and throw yourself at him. A little more flirtation and a more passionate kiss than usual. If he's still not moving forward with anything physical, then it would be time to ask him "why?" I would not ask him right then and there if it doesn't move forward. Maybe next time you see him or talk to him.
This reminds me of an episode of Sex and the City. When Carrie meets this great guy, they keep dating; however, he never "stays the night." She confronts him about it and it was because he was tired of meaningless sex with whomever and actually wanted it to be special. Although, this is something that all women would totally be into, I don't see it as realistic but I'm sure there's some guys our there like that. So Carried was basically She feeling rejected.
So what I'm getting at is either A.)He has his reasons (his fear of rejection or wanting something more meaningful), or B.) He is not interested in anything with you beyond a friendship.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (15 November 2008):
Well he is obviously either a complete gentleman / or completely clueless.
When you have your good night kiss, don't let it end, really really kiss him and wrap your arms around him.
Then invite him in or invite yourself in to his place (where ever you are) and carry on kissing him.
If he resists or refuses then I think you have a good reason to ask what he actually wants from this relationship.
Good Luck!! xx
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