A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I beleive that your partner should come first, come before your friends, except in emergencies of corse. I also beleive that any arrangements made with friends should not be set in stone and can be cancelled at anytime if your partner wants to be with you, no matter why.My partner however beleives that any arrangement, no matter who it is with, should be stuck to regardless of if your partner wants to be with you. She says that doesnt mean she is putting me second, it means she is sticking to her arrangements.The problems start when I have a weekend off and want to go out with her, and she has made prior arrangements, which I only find out about when I suggest going out. Knowing we hardly get weekends to ourselves, I would cancel my friends and spend it with her, but she wont cancel her friends. So we miss out on weekends together which annoys me. And its rare I get weekends off.Any ideas how to sort this? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, ShamanScruff  +, writes (25 March 2010):
Man sit down n talk to her about it, and don't do it all touchy feely, just look her in they and tell her that you never get much time off and that you wanna do something romantic. Friends and all are great to hang out with and stuff but its not wrong to want some quality time alone. If she doesn't want then I guess i'd be wondering why the hell not.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2010): So include her in your plans ahead of time instead of at the last minute.
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A
female
reader, Not My Name +, writes (25 March 2010):
 You can't just go blowing friends off repeatedl and expect them to not have a reaction of their own. It would be a shame to loose friendships over this sort of behaviour, then end up losing the relationship, ...and finding yourself left with no one.
I suggest you check your schedule well in advance and make plans with your girlfriend well in advance rather than at the last minute when she already has something going on.
This should not need to escalate in to a problem for you guys if you just do a bit of pre planning.
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A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (25 March 2010):
 I see where you are coming from regards hardly getting any weekends together as I am always in that boat with my husband too however I'm afraid I agree with your girlfriend if you've made plans with someone else they must be stuck to otherwise she will soon end up with no friends as they will soon become sick of her jerking them around.
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