A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I wonder what it's like to be happy and content with your life, because I haven't had that feeling in ages. I wonder what it's like to have someone who cares about you and loves you. Someone to hold you, wrap their hands around you when you're down. Some one that makes you smile when you're angry at them. Is that person out there for me? I know it's gonna be harder for me because i'm just now starting to accept my sexuality but I'm seriously tired of being alone. I'm tired of living this awful life isolated from everyone else. I'm almost 16 and a sophomore, and everyday I face the crap in my life a lone. Yeah I have a lot of friends, but in that sea of friends, not one of them is a true friend that you can actually trust with your life. That you can be open and be yourself and know they'd accept you and understand you. No, I've never had one of those. Instead I have merely "acquaintances" that stab you in the back, use you and try to walk over you. They don't give a shxt. Ever since the 7th grade with all my self esteen issues/ insecurities/ problems at home/ problems in my social life and basically everything in life increasing, I just sorta gave up hope that one day I may be happy again. I'd entered a very depressed stage which i'm still in now. Because of that I've become very antisocial and isolated. I NEVER used to be the quiet one and the one sitting by himself at school. But now that's me most of the time. Because people have treated me badly and decieved me throughout my life, I put up a huge wall between me and the world. And i can just feel it creating tension and awkwardness; repelling people away when they try to talk to me. And me feeling like I'm worthless than scum doesn't help me either. That's only a slice of the pie that is "my life". I guess what I'm looking for is some advice and guidance. Because I don't think I should be feeling this way. Crying myself self to sleep at night, waking up to an empty day as the seconds pass by. I just don't know what to do. please help me
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2010): Hiya :)
Hope you understand life does have sad empty times, especially in the teen years...your hormones are all over and can make you feel depressed/angry etc.
The friend's who let us down are sadly very often those closest,so we hurt more...but the key is to learn that we have not to become like them, or be angry at others. Try to remember how special and unique YOU are, and while you are growing you will experience many things both good and bad...try to smile/laugh focus on outside activities. At times we all want to shut the world out and know nothing can hurt us if we lock ourselves away from it, but you will not feel better this way, just empty because of lonliness....I remember these special words an old man told when i was your age...Even though you don't feel like it, Walk tall, look the world right in the eye! and say this is me ! be ready to start enjoying life and experience it regardless of past hurts, you can be who you want to be...you have the world at your feet at your age you just can't see it yet but it can be colourful. I do hope you feel a little better and please don't cry yourself to sleep anymore, laugh yourself to sleep and look forward to a new day, know what you enjoy and know what you are good at and try and join IN!
Look the world right in the eye:)
Spunky Monkey
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