A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend hasn't seen his wife for two years he just has to send the papers for divorce when he gets more money. Problem is she still messages him all the time with a variety of things some asking for the divorce papers some calling him very bad names and how he is a loser for life and then still she sends him things like "I miss u and think about u all the time" I saw one of these messages and saw that my boyfriend responded with "what do you mean by that" and she said "we don't get along" and he said " I'm okay not being with you anymore and that things didn't work out and I'm where I need to be" I just wish he would say things like "I'm in love with my current girlfriend please stop contacting me unless it's about the papers". My boyfriend reassures me that if he wanted to be with her he would but he doesn't want to. Should I be worried? Does it sound like he still likes her?
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divorce, his ex, money Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, molliejay  +, writes (6 July 2015):
 Hello,
I understand how you must feel, as they were previously married. But it didn't sound that they shared the greatest memory's.
Woman can be very complicated species, and i'm assuming that her emotions are all over the place. Most of the time she' probably glad that the marriage ended, but maybe when she's sat alone at night, that's when she misses him.
It doesn't sound like your partner likes her, he probably doesn't want to cause futher agro and make things more complicated.
I would recommend once the divorce has been filled, he loose all contact with his ex, to put everybodys mind at rest.
Hope everything goes ok.
Take care
Mollie Jay
x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2015): He may not want to talk about you in case she uses it against him in thw divorce. Sounds like she's still hung up on him but by the sound of his responses he doesn't sound hung up on her so try not to worry too much.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2015): No it doesn't sound like he still likes her. "I'm okay not being with you anymore and that things didn't work out and I'm where I need to be" sounds like the ideal thing to say to an ex. It's not inflammatory or hurtful.I agree with Honeypie. I think he's trying to make his divorce as painless as possible. I went through the process of divorce after 2 yrs of separation but although I'd met someone else I did my best to placate my "soon to be" ex husband. He may have been aware of my new beau but I didn't mention it as I didn't want to stir up trouble. I don't know about the US but in the UK it's much cheaper and easier to get divorced if both couples are agreeable.Once the divorce is thorough he will probably stop the contact if there's no children involved but until then you will have to be patient.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (6 July 2015):
 It sounds like they shared a not so great marriage, with ups and downs.
He had to DEAL with her as HE sees fit, she is after all HIS wife. And she WILL be his wife till the day the papers are signed and filed.
My guess is he DOESN'T rub you in her face to avoid drama and I don't blame him.
She tried to engage him (I miss you etc) and he shot her down (I'm where I need to be) (which is AWAY from her).
Unfortunately, issues like this happens when you date a married man, or even a divorced one.
He is with you, not her. So no, I wouldn't be worried. It's not a competition, you know... They didn't work out, they are planning to divorce. He is DONE with that part of his life, however legally you can't just "walk" away from a marriage, there are papers to file, items to share/split/ property, pets, and sometimes kids.
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