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female
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anonymous
writes: if you finally start talking with an ex again but he isn't ready to be in a relationship again---is it ALWAYS black and white that they just don't want to be with you? We were with each other for almost 4 years and a year of no contact after the break up..i was strong and didn not contact him until a year later because i still loved him even though i tried dating etc.I did ask him very direct questions and made direct comments of how maybe he is just trying to be this "nice guy" and doesn't want to say that he just doesn't want me. And he said that isn't exactly right b/c if it was about me then he would be seeing someone already or looking.We have been having nice conversations but in terms of us seeing each other he said let him get his head together. Do i give him the benefit of the doubt and give him time? Be nice in the phone calls and keep them short and hope for the best? We talk every week or couple of weeks or so but it is mostly me calling at this point.I really still care for him very much and its not as simple as he is an ex for a reason--i wish we could give this a second chance and i am hoping he would eventually come around.I have been dating in the meantime but it doesn't make me feel as happy like i did with him. I still care very much for him though and wish he would give this another chance. What should i do? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2010): Just back off a bit if he sorts his head out and your there who knows it may work. But there must have been a reason you guys broke it off in the first place? After a year of no contact its a bit much to expect you can just jump straight back in to a relationship. Good luck to you babe but i wouldn't hold your breath. I have been where you are and its hard and luckily for me i got the guy in then end but it took 3 years of hard work and heartache and you have to decide if its all really worth it.
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