A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi, i'm 17 and me and my boyfriend have been together for nearly 9 months. we have sex a lot and i love it, but sometimes i wish he could last longer. any advice on what to do? also, i've never orgasmed either, and i know loads of women take ages to, but yeah, any advice? thank you :)
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (21 February 2008):
 You can try to press/pinch the head of the penis till it flattens, the blood draining back into the system. It could prolong his coming ejaculations.
The other way is to tell him to stop and freeze when he feels like coming to get the feelings of ejaculation over.
The last way is for him to make you orgasm first through oral or manual caressing of your clit before he attempt any penetrations.
A
male
reader, DoubleM  +, writes (21 February 2008):
 The only effective technique that I know about to actually delay male ejaculation is by learning to control and contract pubic muscles that also may be used to constrict urination. Much of the rest of it is mental, such as "thinking about something else that is distracting or boring."
In order to master control over pubic muscles that may restrict or abate premature ejaculation, a man must strengthen and learn to exercise lower muscles that would normally be used to stop a urine stream before completion.
The key is to practice a few times during urination by "squeezing" to abate the flow, then releasing, then stopping again. Over and over. Once achieved, the same muscles can be exercised at will every once in awhile to develop and master control, then apply the technique to prolong ejaculation.
It is commonly known as "Kegel exercises" and is described online and in various publications. It requires discipline and determination on the part of the male to master the art of controlling his orgasm long enough to facilitate improved pleasure for his female partner by greatly extending the duration of intercourse.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (21 February 2008):
If you have never experienced an orgasm, one key is to masturbate (with or without your partner's participation) in order to explore your sexuality and which specific areas of your body responds the most. You will most certainly discover that your clitoral complex, including the clitoris, shaft, labia (lips), surrounding areas of the vulva, and a small internal area called the G-spot, can be successfully stimulated to produce intense pleasure. Stimulation to the breasts, neck, lips, ears, anus, torso and other areas may also arouse you, but usually only as supplementation to your vulva areas.
Additionally, oral stimulation by your male partner applied abundantly to your vulva, eventually focusing on the clitoris, is most likely to help you achieve full orgasm if he is willing and knowledgeable in the practice. Some explanations regarding technique are available here by entering the word "cunnilingus" in the above search field. A fine book on the subject is "She Comes First" by Dr. Ian Kerner, which is available from various sources including online.
Some women may climax only from vaginal penetration, but many more require extended stimulation, often including oral from an experienced partner, to experience the maximum pleasure possible. A man who is both willing and knowledgeable would prove the provider of the ecstasy you would like to enjoy, but few men really know much about it.
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A
female
reader, starfairy +, writes (21 February 2008):
 I used to have this problem with my ex. You can try using lubes or condoms that prolong his ejaculation, or you could try what we used to do, we would often have a quickie where he would come, then we would have sex where he would play with my clit til I came, and he would come again. It was much better for me, as women take longer, generally, to come than guys, so I could take my time and not be rushed!
If you've never orgasmed, (I don't know if you mean EVER, or just with him?) my best advice is to, for a start, know what you want. This might mean making yourself orgasm in your own, or having a foreplay session with your boyfriend to learn each other's bodies, have him focus mostly on you, find out what you like that he does, what gets you off, etc. Lube is a good idea during sex, either or both of you put a little on your finger and stimulate your clit, you'll enjoy sex alot more, as it seems you don't really enjoy it at the moment!
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